I am often not who I want to be in the relationship that is the dearest to me. And it's a pattern I am struggling to change. At last night's AA meeting we discussed "taking it home," meaning being as kind at home to our loved ones as we are to those who are dear to our hearts in 12 step rooms. I have said for years that I am aware of my failure in this respect. And I have repeatedly said I want to change this. But wanting to doesn't complete the job. I have written multiple books about this topic, some aspect of this topic. Our relationships are why[...]
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Karen’s Musings
4 Resilience is a compelling trait. It’s standing tall rather than hanging our heads and shuffling away when the invitation to give up beckons. Resilience is saying, “Yes I can,” in the presence of those who doubt us. And it’s never succumbing to the forces of defeat that may be all around us. Being resilient in the face of humiliation, or rage, or degradation, or fear of defeat, or just simply indefinable fear is the fabric of eventual success. Rebounding or recovering from the many personal insults, whether they are large or small, overt or covert[...]
I have never fallen away from my 12 step meetings. In fact, I go to more meetings a week now than I did when I first came into the program. Because I attend both AA and Al-Anon, I usually get to five meetings a week. Some might think that at 38 years sober, five meetings is overkill. On the contrary, I think that the more we get to, the greater will be our joy and peace of mind. It's joy and peace that call to me, every day. I know how to find it. I know how to help others find it too. I am willing to do whatever I need to do to continue growing.[...]
I got an email this morning from one of my frequent blog post readers. She brought to my attention that my website had disappeared. How very fortunate that she and I had written to each other directly on occasion which made it possible for her to reach out to me with this information. You might imagine my first reaction. Yikes. What to do next. What I discovered when I went to the sight was that my domain name had expired thus I had been shut out. How to remedy the situation was above my pay grade. The primary reason this was initially troubling w[...]
1. Come to appreciate that every person on one’s path is a learning partner. 2. Every argument is about fear. 3. No relationship is accidental. Be grateful. 4. Make the choice to be peaceful rather than right. 5. When others around you are not kind, they are afraid. Be kind any way. Only one person has to be kind for the situation to change. 6. Understand that any expression that is not loving is a call for healing and help. Offer only love. 7. Make the decision to no longer see one’s self as unfairly treated. 8. Rejoice that we can[...]
I believe the following to be true: 1. The Butterfly effect is evident everywhere, all the time. It does not need to be seen or even believed for it to make its mark. 2. We are where we need to be and with whom we need to share that space, every moment. No exceptions. 3. Resilience means toughness. Undefeated in spite of difficulties. Being able to stand tall even though the attacks are unrelenting. 4. Willingness is the first necessary step to successful completion of any task or goal. 5. Laughing over the genuinely funny occurrences in[...]
Early in my 12 step recovery a sponsor assured me that it wasn't an accident that I "landed" in AA. She firmly believed that there are no accidents, no coincidences either, on our way to wherever we show up. Even though I doubted her at that time, I didn't argue. I knew that there wasn't much I understood about the way my life was unfolding. I also knew that if I stayed close to her, I'd be safe. I wouldn't drink. Nor would I get into a relationship too soon. She had "her rules." And I promised to follow them. That all seems so long ago. Anoth[...]
I am absolutely thrilled to have been invited to present a workshop at the Bill Wilson House in East Dorset, VT. For one thing, I have never been to VT. And secondly, I think I can safely speak for any one in AA when I say that to present a program there, feels like a truly spiritual gift. To walk around on the same floors and stairs that he and Lois walked on sends chills up my spine. Perhaps I have them on a pedestal. I know they were mere mortals; however, we all know that without Bill and Bob and Lois too, millions of us would not be sober. The pr[...]
I have spent long hours thinking about and then treasuring all the encounters I have had in my nearly 75 years of living. In my youth, it never dawned on me, of course, that the people I met "had been sent;" had been part of the divine journey that was mine and only mine. Even as a young adult I didn't understand why my life was unfolding as it did. Now that I know the "back story" as a result of reading the books of Caroline Myss, I have had reasons, many of them, to revisit my past. Reviewing the myriad memories, focusing specifically on those experienc[...]
I looked at the date of my last post and was shocked. It has been over a month since I connected with the readers of this blog. Please accept my apology. Travel took me away from this particular task and then regrouping after all the travel took it's toll too. I am becoming a bit more aware of my aging body every trip, it seems. My dilemma is that I love, absolutely love what I do when I am on the road facilitating workshops. Connecting in such an intimate way with the thousands of women and men over the years has fed my soul. It has fed my curiosity[...]