Resilience is a time honored trait.

Resilience is a compelling trait. It’s standing tall rather than hanging our heads and shuffling away when the invitation to give up beckons.  Resilience is saying, “Yes I can,” in the presence of those who doubt us.  And it’s never succumbing to the forces of defeat that may be all around us.

Being resilient in the face of humiliation, or rage, or degradation, or fear of defeat, or just simply indefinable fear is the fabric of eventual success.  Rebounding or recovering from the many personal insults, whether they are large or small, overt or covert, physical, mental or emotional, that life hands us in our family of origin, our workplace, and even among our circle of friends; contributes to the pattern of growth that we’ll undoubtedly experience. Those very experiences that could stunt our development, instead strengthens it, if we are resilient.

Few of us graciously accept the insults that so commonly become a natural part of living. That’s to be expected, perhaps.  But what we manage to tolerate, successfully, we will thrive from in time. That’s my experience any way.  And that’s the experience I think we can all cultivate. That’s the experience I hope to help others develop through writings such as this.

I have become convinced ever since publishing my first book, EACH DAY A NEW BEGINNING, in 1982, that my “calling”  so to speak, is to serve as your teacher in any way that I can.  By that I mean, to share with you, all that I have gathered from others, over the years.  And through my sharing, I get the added pleasure of relearning all that I offer you.

Choosing to share about resilience here was intentional, even though there are myriad other “strengths” that could have been written about.  But I think resilience is the kernel that lives at the center of all the positive characteristics we develop when we grow up in families that struggle to be functional.  What I want us to see is how resilience informs all the experiences we face while trying to make sense of a dysfunctional family system.

*Resilience means believing there is a path that has been charted for you and staying on it even when you stumble.

Resilience serves as the “backdrop” for lives that moved forward rather than succumbing to the pain, the downdraft of the “unenlightened” family of origin.  I say unenlightened because I have have come to believe through listening to tens of thousands of individuals at 12 step meetings over the last three decades, that parents generally did the best they could; their best was simply seldom good enough because it wasn’t well informed.  And since that was the case, I think it’s fair to say it took a herculean effort by the many individuals who have crossed my path to thrive, regardless of their circumstances.

Thriving is what true growth is all about.  May we each continue to grow and help one another to grow too.


One Comment

  1. Wonderful 😉 I never get thought of it in this way. You give me new perspectives. Before program I always thought I had to defend myself when I’m attacked or criticized, now I know I can just let it go. I don’t have to respond, I can instead understand it’s about them, and leave it with them. I do believe when we change others change even ever so slightly in response. It may be so slowly it goes unnoticed. I think when one has compassion for the conditioning and understands everyone is doing the best they can on their journey it’s easier to let go. Part of my end of the disease and conditioning was getting defensive and trying to control how they felt about me. The truth is in the greater scheme of things it really doesn’t matter what they think of me. Thank you for being here and sharing. I hope I can in turn pass on what I learn here. Much love and blessings

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