We are needed where we are. Always.

Early in my 12 step recovery a sponsor assured me that it wasn’t an accident that I “landed” in AA.  She firmly believed that there are no accidents, no coincidences either, on our way to wherever we show up.  Even though I doubted her at that time, I didn’t argue.  I knew that there wasn’t much I understood about the way my life was unfolding.  I also knew that if I stayed close to her, I’d be safe.  I wouldn’t drink.  Nor would I get into a relationship too soon.  She had “her rules.”  And I promised to follow them.

That all seems so long ago.  Another lifetime, actually.  Thirty-eight years, give or take a few months.  And I now know, fervently, that what she espoused regarding our always being where we need to be is an absolute truth.  I also have not loved every situation I found myself in.  But if I am honest, I can see why I needed to be in every one of them.  I can see “my part” in the unfolding of a situation or a series of situations.

I find it extremely exciting to embrace how perfectly our lives are moving forward.  As soon as I was able to accept that we are where we are needed, I could only look forward with healthy anticipation about each event that was just around the next corner of my life.  It would help to explain what had just happened and would set the stage for what was next on my agenda.  That is the simple explanation of how our lives inform us.

Many reading this may have belief systems that run counter to mine.  That’s okay.  I’m not on a mission to get you to agree with me.  My only mission is to help you live less  hectic, “cluttered” lives; to help you see that your life does and has always made sense.  Everyone of us has been central to the lives of so many.  Recognizing how joined we are, how joined our life purposes are, eliminates that sense of isolation we sometimes feel.  Isolation, in all reality, is nothing more than a state of mind.  It can’t “claim” us unless we let it.

Let’s try an experiment.  What’s the most “unwelcome” recent situation you found yourself in?  In one line or two, what didn’t you like about it?  Did it fit into the rhythm of your day?  If you can still see no reason for it, make an affirmation about it and practice the affirmation for the next few hours.  Has the situation begun to make sense?  If yes, share this exercise with others who struggle like you had struggled.  If it still doesn’t “fit,” just be willing to suspend your disbelief about its necessity for now.  Next week or next month you will see.  We always see the value, the “rightness” in time.


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