I just returned from a week end in Chicago with fourteen dear friends from high school. There are so many sweet memories running through my mind that I don't know which one to savor first and longest. Starting with my roommate is no doubt a good beginning. Ellen is her name and we hadn't been particularly close in high school but we were in the same group. We called ourselves "the Superlatives." We were certain then, that we were, and deserved to be, the envy of all the other girls in the school. Needless to say we made a few enemies along the way. B[...]
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We are where we need to be.
4 . . . and it's not always a pretty picture, is it? I have said on many occasions, in many books and at many workshops, that the relationships we have attracted are perfect for the growth we are destined to have in this life. Perhaps that seems farfetched to you. It did to me when I first heard it, but I decided to believe it for lack of any other reasonable explanation for the myriad relationships I endured in the many avenues of my life. I can see now, (hindsight is so revealing) that every single relationship offered me slices of the education I have nee[...]
Happy St. Patrick's Day. What an appropriate day for me to talk about hope and how it can be cultivated. I spent many St. Patty's Days in the bars drinking green beer or martinis with their green olives. That was a time in my life that I was very short on hope and didn't even realize that's what was missing. I was miserable, for sure, especially when sober, but couldn't put a name on the misery. However, I was convinced that if only others would change, I'd be just fine. That's what sent me off to my first 12 step meeting, in fact. Alas, that wasn't t[...]
I am so often struck by the timeliness of the messages "I receive" at meetings. My sponsor has said many times that when I am ready, I will hear the message, or the explicit direction from God, that I have been prepared for. I used to doubt her, but not any more. I do hear exactly what I need to hear but I have to show up in the places I have been called to be, to hear the message. Isolating myself from others hasn't appealed to me for years but it used to. I wanted you to express your desire for my company. And I felt sorry for myself if you didn't.[...]
Have you ever considered how really important to your growth every person you've met has been? Nary a one of them showed up accidentally. Amazing isn't it? I used to believe it was a coincidence when I met some one who felt special to my journey. Now I know they simply waited for the right time for our paths to intersect. I love this idea. It has given me comfort in myriad situations. I can't say "all meetings" were easy and gratifying in the moment, but hindsight is such a good teacher. My past is replete with circumstances and people who ushered[...]
My husband and I just returned to Naples, Florida for the winter months. Leaving Minnesota is always bittersweet but then arriving here is delicious. We have been making this switch in locations since 1991 so we are old-hands at packing up and reclaiming our space here. What adds to the joy of being here is seeing the friends we have missed and returning to the wonderful meetings that sustain us throughout the winter months. Having the fellowship, on both ends, actually makes the move easy. The welcome mat is always out. But change can still be hard for[...]
I led a retreat this past week end at the Hazelden Renewal Center in MN. The topic was Cultivating Hope In All Our Affairs. Twenty-eight of us gathered and gently moved forward in our thinking, our personal explorations, our willingness to be intimately vulnerable and open to the vulnerabilities of others. It was miraculous, really. I have discovered that these kinds of week ends are always miraculous, in fact, because perceptions become changed. You can see it happening. You can feel the shift occurring. And you can see the body language relaxing, a[...]
The first time I heard this I scoffed. How could I possibly need to be in "this" meeting, with these people? Or in this job? Or married to this person? Or in this amount of pain? What I didn't understand was that the lessons I needed to learn were wrapped in the experiences I was having in every setting that claimed my presence. My lessons have been many. This is true for all of us. This will continue to be true, in fact. I was talking to some friends in a phone meeting we have daily about happiness and what resonates with me when I think of ha[...]
I have been thinking a lot lately about the growing incivility of so many in positions of power, whether they are politicians or talk show hosts. I don't intend for this blog to be "political" in tone, but I am concerned about how influential some voices are, particularly voices that might lead to violence. It makes no difference which side of the political divide one is on, the kind of rhetoric one hears if tuned into any number of radio or television shows is disturbing, to say the least. And the number of blogs that now exist calling for violence against o[...]
Get a small notebook that you carry with you everywhere and be ready to use it. Begin noting how others on your path demonstrate their hope. Do this for a month. Imitate them, in fact. Keep track of the times you extended love/hope to some one else over a seven day period. Note what effect this extension has on you. Practicing gratitude cultivates hope and a changed heart. At the end of each day for thirty days, write about your experiences. What changes in yourself do you see? List the times you know, without a doubt, that God was present in your li[...]