I can well remember that when I was a young girl, I wanted to blame others for how I was behaving. "He made me do it," was my common refrain. Pointing fingers at others is far easier than looking at ourselves and we aren't alone in opting for this excuse for our unseemly actions, even though the wise among us don't buy it. Some of us aren't very eager to consider that there might be another way to interact, to interpret the experiences we are having. It wasn't until I had been in recovery for a couple of years that I seriously tackled taking responsibility[...]
3 I heard an interesting talk last night by a man who works in a treatment setting as a spiritual adviser. In that role he helps men and women learn the art of meditation. I so appreciated the message because of its simplicity. He said, and I paraphrase, meditation is the simple act of being fully present in the moment to whatever is before you, be it a person, a sunset or a poem. I think for many of us meditation feels elusive. His explanation opens the door to all of us to see it in a new, refreshing way, one that we can practice with our eyes open. R[...]
Helping others is one of the greatest opportunities that presents itself. Most of us experience joy when we have been able to ease the journey for some one else. But there does come a time when we have to ask ourselves if we are helping or hindering the journey another person is here to make. I have had to learn this the hard way. I was a master enabler. Perhaps this is a new term for you. It means to help another person "to a fault." I used to easily get emotionally ensnared by others whom I thought couldn't live without my direction, my protection,[...]
Simple things we can do now to change our perceptions and become more hopeful. 1. Ask God for help. 2. Let go! 3. Surrender to God what ever is demanding your attention. 4. Do one thing to inspire joy in some one else’s life every day! And make a note of this in a small note book. 5. Choose kindness in every encounter and feel it change your heart. 6, When feeling hopeless, recall a fond memory and allow it to change your perception. 7. Make a gratitude list to help you recall the good that has already happened. Make this a daily exercise. 8. Praying[...]
I have thought a lot about the changes I have made throughout my life. I have been prompted to think about this because of the next book I have begun to write. It's a memoir but not a simple chronology of what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now. That kind of story has merit, for sure, and I have read a number of excellent memoirs. But I feel compelled to help others do a memoir too because I think gauging the changes in our lives is so very important. Thus I hope to guide readers to begin looking at their own lives from the various van[...]
Wouldn't it be interesting if the entire country found something in the new law to make them happy? I have thought a lot about this reform lately. Considering all the discussion on cable news, it's been hard to avoid thinking about it. I can't say that I understand the myriad details, nor can I speak for it's long term impact; but I do think waiting a while to see how it helps those less fortunate among us is wise. Some say we aren't our brothers' keepers. I say we are. Lending a helping hand where ever we can is doing God's work, after all. I don't m[...]
The rhetoric on cable news has become deafening. I am reminded of Rodney King's words a few years ago: "Can't we all just get along?" As I've said in other posts, I am not intending for this site to be political. We all get enough of that every time we turn our televisions or radios on. But I do feel an obligation to respond to the rhetoric with some words of sanity. Much of my life as a writer and speaker has been devoted to "spreading a message of peace." I am only one voice, for sure, but I firmly believe that a lone voice is a beginning. In fact,[...]
I don't know if you favor the health care reform bill or not. That's none of my business and this blog is not intended to be political. However, whatever side of this particular issue, or any issue any of us happen to favor, our thoughts can and should be expressed in terms that are not hateful toward one group of citizens or another. What we all saw on cable news over the week end, the mean-spirited placards at the rallies, the spitting on an individual congressman, the extremely vile name calling, are all examples of behavior that's shameful. A democracy al[...]
When I first heard the suggestion to detach from another person, I interpreted it to mean to sever all ties, all communication. Considering it was a relationship partner I was supposed to detach from, I found the suggestion out of the question. What I had failed to understand at that time and frankly, for many months to come, was that detachment didn't mean to literally turn my back on some one. But rather to shield my emotions from the behavior of others. To let others do whatever they did without my own emotions jumping on their roller-coaster. It wasn[...]
Happy St. Patrick's Day. What an appropriate day for me to talk about hope and how it can be cultivated. I spent many St. Patty's Days in the bars drinking green beer or martinis with their green olives. That was a time in my life that I was very short on hope and didn't even realize that's what was missing. I was miserable, for sure, especially when sober, but couldn't put a name on the misery. However, I was convinced that if only others would change, I'd be just fine. That's what sent me off to my first 12 step meeting, in fact. Alas, that wasn't t[...]