Every change begins with a little willingness. . .
I have thought a lot about the changes I have made throughout my life. I have been prompted to think about this because of the next book I have begun to write. It’s a memoir but not a simple chronology of what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now. That kind of story has merit, for sure, and I have read a number of excellent memoirs. But I feel compelled to help others do a memoir too because I think gauging the changes in our lives is so very important. Thus I hope to guide readers to begin looking at their own lives from the various vantage points that I explore.
My entire life, since coming into recovery in 1975, has changed so dramatically that I simply don’t resemble the woman I was before. I had been terrified most of my life that others didn’t really want to spend time with me. My fear of rejection fueled my obsession with what others were doing and thinking. I didn’t have a life of my own. Not really. I was wrapped up in the thoughts, the actions, the opinions of every one who crossed my path. I mirrored others to the best of my ability, thinking this was my key to being safe, free from the worry of abandonment. Woe is me. What a difficult memory this is to this very day.
But the good news is this: I am not that woman any more. And it thrills me to be able to talk about who I have become. Memory lane has its place in our lives but not dwelling too long in the muck allows us to see how we have bloomed as the result of being open to new ways of thinking, acting and planning for the day before us.
As the title of this blog says, change begins with willingness. And not very much is actually needed. When feeling frustrated or fearful, remembering that there is “another way” to perceive what ever seems to be the stumbling block is all the beginning we need. That little statement: there must be another way, is what opens the door to hearing the guidance that is simply waiting for our “call.” I placed the call that began my journey when I heard a friend say, “I think you should go to a 12 step group.” I went and my new guides were every where. That’s how it works. A little willingness is all we ever need and the people and their messages of hope will find us. I was “found.” We all become found when we finally decide to let others into our world. That experience of “coming together with others” is the shift in our very being that has been waiting our whole lives.
Don’t postpone the changes you might want to make. There is no better time than now to become even a tiny bit willing.