I find such comfort in the idea that we are "here, now," intentionally. I love the awareness that whomever I meet, only casually or quite seriously, was sent. In fact, I had "requested" the meeting at a time and in a space I have long since forgotten about. My first sponsor told me this in 1976. I completely dismissed the idea then. In fact, I felt uncomfortable around her for a time. Her spiritual beliefs often seemed farfetched to me. She was a psychic. She did readings and healings for women and men. Many in our circle of friends relied on he[...]
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Karen’s Musings
5 At the present time I have a very good friend and sponsee from the north visiting. She is dear to my heart and has been for all 25 years of her recovery. I met her at her first AA meeting, in fact, so have been able to observe her throughout her long sobriety. The past four or five years of her recovery have been tough ones, unfortunately. The thought of drinking hasn't been the problem, but obsessive anxiety has her by the tail. It has taken the joyful person I had known for twenty of these 25 years away. And I know she isn't the only person who suffe[...]
Some days I simply want to say to the world around me: SLOW DOWN, DOGGONE IT. Perhaps my resistance to the passage of time is that I too often have my mind somewhere else, rather than on the moment that's being given to me. Each moment is a gift. The decision to open each gift slowly, grasping all that it is offering, is available to me. Always. And no one can make the decision for me. No one. I have slipped away from the security of NOW these last few weeks. I think my consternation about my future, and how I want it to look, has taken me "off-cou[...]
I don’t know about you but I have stumbled many times getting to where I am now. I began stumbling, literally, when I took my first drink at 13. Hiding behind the garage at an outdoor family gathering, I gulped down my whiskey and coke before any one could notice me. The rush I felt was quickly matched by the uneasiness I experienced as I headed back to the group. With darting vision, I hurried into the house so no one would guess what I had been up to. What I could have learned then was that alcohol had the capacity to “trip” a person up in more[...]
I have lost a number of very good friends over the past couple of years. And I have mementoes from three of the women in my study. From one a rock, from another a book and the third, a pin. I find myself looking at their pictures, holding their remembrances, and feeling their presence in a very distinct way each time. I think of these women, and my mother too, as the angels who hover around my shoulders at good times as well as difficult times. And actually, I have very few difficult times any more. I’m inclined to think it might be because I have t[...]
W.A.I.T. is an acronym for why am I talking? A young woman shared this idea at one of my AA meetings a few years ago. I had never heard it before but have used it, remembered it, forgotten it, and denied it to myself hundreds of times since then. It's a brilliant shortcut to staying out of the thick of someone else's business. It is all so easy to stick my nose in where it isn't needed. Backseat driving it is and this can happen as easily in my living room as in the car. Choosing silence is a remarkably simple choice but not one that's easily made. B[...]
I am beginning a new book. As I "see" it now, it will be a book of essays that will drive home to the reader the idea that just because we are moving into a later stage of life, we need not assume that our joys will diminish. On the contrary, for most people they will flourish because they are relieved of myriad responsibilities they were saddled with in the earlier decades of life. Children are grown and educated. Retirement is at hand or already being enjoyed. Fewer expenses have to be worried over. Down-sizing has become the ideal and time for relax[...]
I'd have to say that the first forty years of my life were primarily focused on the actions of those people I walked among. And I wasn't even conscious of it. It was simply who I was. It was how I had always lived. What ever you said defined how I believed too, in that moment. I saw no problem with this. Not having "a life of my own" wasn't of much concern. I came to the realization of this in 1971 but seeing "Me" in print on that fateful page in John Powell's book didn't turn me around. Let me elaborate. I was teaching a personal writing class at[...]
At an AA meeting this morning the topic of balance was suggested. I have always felt that my life was pretty well balanced. I exercise. I eat well. I have many friends, a great relationship with my husband, and my work life is very satisfying. However, I am also exploring the idea of working less. How would that feel? Must I always be busy? In past years I'd say yes. I needed to be answering the "call" to write and saying yes to all of the invitations I received to facilitate workshops or speak at luncheons or dinners. The idea of cutting back[...]
(In case you have not read the preceding post, I am projecting out twenty years and looking back on what my life was like.) Dear Karen, Your decision to assign participants in a workshop in 2013 to look back on their lives from a future point was fortuitous. As you might recall, you were contemplating your own "next phase," wondering if slowing down was really what you wanted to do. You weren't sure how many or how few workshops to commit to for 2014, let alone the next two decades. Even stopping to ask yourself that question was good. You had never[...]