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Karen Casey

Karen's Musings, Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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December 7, 2013

The journey is perfect, the stumbles as well as the strides.

I don’t know about you but I have stumbled many times getting to where I am now.  I began stumbling, literally, when I took my first drink at 13.  Hiding behind the garage at an outdoor family gathering, I gulped down my whiskey and coke before any one could notice me.  The rush I felt was quickly matched by the uneasiness I experienced as I headed back to the group.  With darting vision, I hurried into the house so no one would guess what I had been up to.

What I could have learned then was that alcohol had the capacity to “trip” a person up in more ways than one.  However, what I learned instead over the next few months was that with every drink I took, I felt a bit less fear.  Around boys, particularly.  Over time, the continued use of alcohol gave me the courage to “stand apart,” to move forward, even to eventually set many highfaluting goals, most of which seemed way beyond my reach, throughout the next 33 years, in fact.

As an example, I’m convinced that I would not have tackled graduate school  following the demise of my 12 year marriage if I had not fueled up on alcohol.  Perhaps that seems a far-fetched idea but I’d venture to guess that many alcoholics in the rooms of AA would concur.  We could muffle the cries of the scared ego if we drank just one more whiskey on ice.  I knew I wasn’t a scholar, in my sober moments; but with a little alcohol in my system I was certain I could accomplish what the others around me were accomplishing.  And one of the areas I was fearless about was writing.  While I observed my fellow students avoiding like the plague the major papers that were required for every course, I eagerly leapt to the challenge.  Unafraid.  Undaunted.  Undeterred.

That I met the challenge successfully gave structure to the rest of my life.  Learning, as I did, how pleasurable writing could be, set the stage for my passion to flourish.   Twenty seven books later and I’m still committed to “the dream.”  The fortunate news is that I didn’t have to keep drinking to accomplish it.  In fact, had I continued to drink, I would have failed the “final test.”  Writing the dissertation took a sober head.  I feared I couldn’t master that.  But did.  With the help of many others.

I am not assuming that you, the reader, had a journey like mine, one that was both helped and then hindered by alcohol, but before I go further, let’s pause.  Think about your own journey from your teen years to now.  Just close your eyes for a few minutes.  Just as suggested in an earlier blog, pause, breathe and pause again.

 

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karencasey

I am an author, a lecturer, and a workshop presenter. I have presented programs throughout the United States, Canada, Mexico, Germany, and Ireland. As of July, 2010 I have published 23 books, with number 24 being released in spring of 2011 and a memoir underway. For a listing of my books and ordering information, go to www.womens-spirituality.com. To contact me about presenting a program in your area, call 239-398-6327 or e-mail me from my web site or at jcasey4991@aol.com

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6 Comments
  • Maggy
    March 19, 2014

    Karen, I am so glad that I found you and your books, blogs, and your life sharing. I have a story to tell, in fact it has been recorded over the past 30 years in my journals. I have been a mess, collected myself, fallen, brushed myself off, tripped, caught myself, been trampled on, eventually got up, and here I am on another taking-care-of-me surge, the most powerful, cognitively driven yet spiritually fed time of my life. It may be the empowering age of 45, it may be that I have a legacy under me of little eyes watching my lack of resiliency, little ears hearing my tolerance of mistreatment, or my inner voice finally being loud enough for me to hear that love does not mean being continually hurt. Something clicked in me one day and I just said, “That’s enough.” So, I am at the middle of my journey. The roughest terrain is behind me and I am just wading in the detachment pool before I plunge in. I need to take baby steps as I acclimate to new temperatures. Wish me luck as I don’t want to lose all compassion toward my husband and fear that my heart will grow cold, I want to hang on to some hope that our family will stay in tact, but most of all I need to hang on to me and all else will follow. I cannot wait to read your books and follow you on FB. I just found you tonight, wish that I had found you sooner, but everything happens in it’s own time. You sound like a wonderful person and I feel so many similarities in our lives like the drinking at 13 that led to fearlessness, especially with boys. Oh, I could go on forever. But with any luck, you will be reading my book in a few years! Best to you!

    Reply
    • karencasey
      Maggy
      March 20, 2014

      Hi Maggie,
      How happy I am that you found “me.” There are no accidents. All in God’s time. I fearlessly believe in this idea. First let me say, you write beautifully. I do believe you have a book in you that must come out. And I think it will one day. Your circumstances sound difficult, to say the least, but you have already proven that you are resilient. Your journey will show others that they can successfully survive their journey too. With you as a guide, many will be helped. I look forward to hearing from you again, one day.

      Many blessings to you,
      Karen

      Reply
      • Maggy
        karencasey
        March 25, 2014

        Thank you for your words of encouragement and a huge thank you for your compliment on my writing…the co-dependent in me needs to hear that! LOL Hey, if I can’t laugh at myself then I’d surely go insane. I will let you know when it is done. 4000 words in just a few nights. It is the easiest thing I have ever written. I will continue to read your books…they are very enlightening to say the least!

        Reply
        • karencasey
          Maggy
          April 4, 2014

          Hi Maggy,
          People are lead into each others’ lives. Of this I am sure. so glad you crossed my path. Stay in touch.
          Karen

          Reply
  • Angel
    December 8, 2013

    Very nice karen 😉 I’m doing some 4th step work right now 😉 so perfect timing for me 😉 hope all is well with you..I’m enjoying your writing. Love and blessings 😉

    Reply
    • karencasey
      Angel
      January 21, 2014

      Thanks, angel, for staying in touch.
      Karen

      Reply

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