I am here to be truly helpful is the first line of a prayer I carry in my mind and heart every day. It right-sizes me and can be silently recalled in the midst of any situation that has me momentarily tense or baffled. It's similar to another treasured idea: "I can see peace instead of this," when circumstances are inviting me to respond in a way that I might regret a moment or an hour later. Spiritual "shortcuts," I call them; and they never fail to help me be kinder in the moment. I have discovered that kindness translates to peace for me. Consider us[...]
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What I Believe – You and Your Higher Power
0 I was estranged from my family during the last years of my using days. I saw them once or twice a year but seldom more. And they weren't all that sorry about my absence. I was easily triggered to be angry at them about every opinion they held. My presence created tension, constant tension, and no amount of alcohol eased it. On the contrary, any amount escalated my urgency to argue. But that all changed. Not over night, but it changed. For the first few years of my recovery, I can recall still wanting them to share my opinions but I learned to bite[...]
I had a birthday on Monday and my husband bought me an iPad at my request. Having it for travel, which I do a lot of, makes sense. However, I have been stressed out since getting it home. It's probably a lot like bringing your first child home from the hospital. I never had children but I am leery of every thing I touch. My shoulders hurt, my head hurts and I am already wondering if it will be the problem solver we bought it to be. I have to take a break from it. That's why I am "talking" to you now. Writing is like meditation for me. I am certain that[...]
Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself, What I Believe - You and Your Higher Power, Your Experience, Strength and Hope
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Detachment is one pathway to peace of mind. . .
I have written often about detachment. In books, articles and throughout this blog. It's of major importance to my life because it's the key to my own peaceful state of mind. I want to stress that detachment doesn't mean not caring about others. In fact, it means to care enough about others to let them make their own decisions, to live their own lives, even make their own mistakes. This isn't easy to do when we first try it. When I first heard the word, I couldn't even fathom its ever-so-subtle meaning. Eventually I gleaned from listening to others[...]
A good friend of mine had a stroke last Sunday. One minute he was out for breakfast with some friends and the next minute, when he was saying his farewells, his speech became garbled. Fortunately for him one friend had lingered and noticing the changed speech, took him to the nearest hospital immediately and doctors were able to prevent permanent damage. However, for three days he was unable to communicate. For those three days friends sat by his bed to console him and those who weren't there, were praying from afar. For three days neither my friend nor an[...]
One of my best friends was just diagnosed with breast cancer in both breasts. I met her yesterday for lunch and we hugged each other really tight. I am sad. I am scared for her. But I am sure that her Higher Power is holding her hand at this very moment. And I am holding her in my heart. I ask that all of you do the same please. Her name is Kaye. She has been one of my companions on this road of recovery for 35 years. We are aging, you and I. And with the advancing years, health challenges occur. I understand this but when it hits close to home, I reb[...]
Having a Higher Power as one's companion makes every circumstance in our lives manageable and tolerable if we utilize the help that is available to us. It also means we are never experiencing any thing alone. Those instances when we feel forgotten or scared or even threatened, we can, if we choose to, take a deep breath and let "our very willing companion" guide us, speak through us, and comfort us. I had no idea of "His" availability when I came into the recovery rooms. I had been assuming, for decades, that I was acting alone. That I was solely in cha[...]
I have referenced This is Water in two earlier posts and now I want to reveal the end of David Lawrence Foster's story. He hung himself in 2008. He had suffered from severe and chronic depression his whole life and gave up when the medication no longer kept it at bay. He was in his early forties. His parents shared that his life had been a roller coaster of depression since childhood. The wonderful thing for all of us is that we have many terrific books to remember him by. (see amazon.com) His way of looking at the world resonated with me. What's ob[...]
I mentioned in the last post a great little book, This is Water, by David Foster Wallace. I endorse this book wholeheartedly, in fact. I'm personally convinced that most of us don't see the world in all it's splendor. We are like the fish just swimming along quite mindlessly. When looking around, whether in the company of friends or strangers, we are consumed with the "drivel" in our minds. I have to remind myself that whom ever is before me is my "gift" to be opened, now. I don't say this as a way to guilt you and me. Being "self-absorbed" is simply[...]
Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, What I Believe - You and Your Higher Power, Your Experience, Strength and Hope
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Awareness is the key to living full lives. . .
I read a wonderful little book yesterday by David Foster Wallace. The title is This Is Water. It's one of those special little books that takes a hold of you and doesn't let go. It's actually a commencement address that Mr. Wallace gave at Kenyon College in 2005. He begins with a simple story about two young fish swimming along and an older fish swims by and says, "Hello. How's the water?" After swimming on a bit, one fish looks at the other and says, "What's water?" The message, of course, is that we don't actually see what's all around us. We liv[...]