It's an overused phrase, and perhaps all too simplistic, but the clock is ticking, at a faster pace, every hour it seems. Does this matter? Perhaps not to many of you, but I love life so much, every breath of it, and I hate seeing it slip so unstoppably fast through my fingers. The joy I feel waking up every morning, looking over at my husband, Joe, as we sip coffee in our living room, is achingly powerful. How blessed I feel, each and every day. Our nearly 37 years together have flown by. Of course we have had our struggles; our egos have put up a go[...]
4 1. Come to appreciate that every person on one’s path is a learning partner. 2. Every argument is about fear. 3. No relationship is accidental. Be grateful. 4. Make the choice to be peaceful rather than right. 5. When others around you are not kind, they are afraid. Be kind any way. Only one person has to be kind for the situation to change. 6. Understand that any expression that is not loving is a call for healing and help. Offer only love. 7. Make the decision to no longer see one’s self as unfairly treated. 8. Rejoice that we can[...]
I believe the following to be true: 1. The Butterfly effect is evident everywhere, all the time. It does not need to be seen or even believed for it to make its mark. 2. We are where we need to be and with whom we need to share that space, every moment. No exceptions. 3. Resilience means toughness. Undefeated in spite of difficulties. Being able to stand tall even though the attacks are unrelenting. 4. Willingness is the first necessary step to successful completion of any task or goal. 5. Laughing over the genuinely funny occurrences in[...]
My life, by choice, is now more focused on the simple pleasures than was the case while in my fifties and sixties. Perhaps that’s normal maturity. The body gets tired. The mind seeks freedom from worry. And with age, our relationships generally become less intense; if we are lucky, they mellow out. The expenditure of time, to make them more peaceful, has already been spent. At 75, I've spent a lot of time. And it was all worth it. My guess is that regardless of age, you share these same thoughts. Or are trying to, at least. But I believe it[...]
Rapt attention, as I mentioned in an earlier essay, surpasses in value every other character trait we may possess. The decision to honor our fellow travelers with devoted attention, in regard to their every word, their loud as well as their quiet behavior, their very presence in our lives regardless of what the expression is; is a gift beyond measure. This idea may feel suffocating, when first considered. However, it offers any one who embraces it freedom at a very deep level. Freedom. No other decision about life’s journey and our responses to any one[...]
Blowing out the candles on a 75th birthday cake nearly took my breath away. Not because there were so many candles. Actually, there was only one. Thank goodness. It was simply the awareness of my age coupled with the realization that the years were slipping away all too quickly. Years that couldn't be repeated, recaptured, even remembered in some instances. So why lament 75? Simply because I don't want my remaining years to slip by so easily, so "unannounced," so nondescript. Each moment of our lives is sacred. I know that's not new information.[...]
Early in my 12 step recovery a sponsor assured me that it wasn't an accident that I "landed" in AA. She firmly believed that there are no accidents, no coincidences either, on our way to wherever we show up. Even though I doubted her at that time, I didn't argue. I knew that there wasn't much I understood about the way my life was unfolding. I also knew that if I stayed close to her, I'd be safe. I wouldn't drink. Nor would I get into a relationship too soon. She had "her rules." And I promised to follow them. That all seems so long ago. Anoth[...]
I mentioned a couple weeks back that I was scheduled to go to VT to facilitate a workshop at the Wilson House. That's the Bill Wilson House. And for any of you reading this who are in AA, you can only imagine what a thrill this was for me to have been asked to lead a workshop there. And 90 people attended. Mostly women but there were 10 or 12 brave men who showed up and they added a lot to our discussions. One of the primary themes in any workshop I do is that whom ever shows up is there by divine appointment. I believe that wherever any one of us shows[...]
I was first introduced to the idea of shifting my perception in the book: A COURSE IN MIRACLES. The book had no real author, at least there wasn't a name on the book's spine. One of my husband's sisters gave the set of books (originally there were 3 books in the set) to us as a gift. A cursory glance convinced me these books weren't up my alley. Joe felt likewise. So they sat on the book shelf for 4 or 5 years. Surprisingly, they actually called to me. Eventually. And when I picked them up this time, my response was all together different. I was[...]
I am absolutely thrilled to have been invited to present a workshop at the Bill Wilson House in East Dorset, VT. For one thing, I have never been to VT. And secondly, I think I can safely speak for any one in AA when I say that to present a program there, feels like a truly spiritual gift. To walk around on the same floors and stairs that he and Lois walked on sends chills up my spine. Perhaps I have them on a pedestal. I know they were mere mortals; however, we all know that without Bill and Bob and Lois too, millions of us would not be sober. The pr[...]