I don't know who originally coined this simple little phrase but it certainly fits multiple occasions. Actually it's a great reminder that we can seldom affect change in any one else. We can model behavior we'd like to see. We can suggest a different course of action. We can even plead to be heard. But finally, "it is what it is." What others choose to do, how others choose to think, how others respond to us is up to them. Simply accepting what we can't change in people or situations is the clearest path to experiencing a peaceful moment. I crave peac[...]
7 My husband and I just returned to Naples, Florida for the winter months. Leaving Minnesota is always bittersweet but then arriving here is delicious. We have been making this switch in locations since 1991 so we are old-hands at packing up and reclaiming our space here. What adds to the joy of being here is seeing the friends we have missed and returning to the wonderful meetings that sustain us throughout the winter months. Having the fellowship, on both ends, actually makes the move easy. The welcome mat is always out. But change can still be hard for[...]
I led a retreat this past week end at the Hazelden Renewal Center in MN. The topic was Cultivating Hope In All Our Affairs. Twenty-eight of us gathered and gently moved forward in our thinking, our personal explorations, our willingness to be intimately vulnerable and open to the vulnerabilities of others. It was miraculous, really. I have discovered that these kinds of week ends are always miraculous, in fact, because perceptions become changed. You can see it happening. You can feel the shift occurring. And you can see the body language relaxing, a[...]
I heard a talk by author and speaker Earnie Larson a few decades ago and he said, so simply, "Wherever you go, there you are." I had never heard this phrase before and was rocked by it. It was so simple and yet so profound. I had only been sober about three years at the time and was pretty confused about many of the ideas I was being introduced to on this path. At first I thought he was making a joke and then I let the statement have its proper impact. Wow. I had been switching people, meetings, places, relationships and philosophies all of my life, e[...]
Before sitting down to write this blog today, I read all of the recent comments that have posted and I want to tell you how grateful I am that you are taking the time to read the blog and then the additional time to respond. Knowing that these words are reaching you is pretty exciting. I had no idea how this process would work but I love "my end" of it. Connection, like this, is also the key to healing. We can't be healed of any malady in isolation. But we can and will be healed of our "dis-ease" when we allow ourselves to be touched by others and then pa[...]
I am constantly asked how I have managed to write so many books. And my honest response is, I don't know. I feel called to do what I am doing. I think the same is true for every one who is feeling fulfilled in their work. And if your work isn't giving you a sense of well-being, perhaps it's time to search your mind for that which you do feel a passion for. This isn't an easy search for some. We have all been "stuck" in a line of work at some period of our life. But I do think our lives have purpose regardless of what we are doing. It may sound trite b[...]
The news is replete with the conflicts between the many views on health care reform. And I think we are lucky to live in a country where people are allowed to express opposing viewpoints. Not every country is so lucky. Prisons around the world are full of people who dared to speak up. But I am concerned that we are forgetting how to have civil discourse on this and any number of issues. Talk radio is quick to speak loud, oftentimes untruthfully and carry "a big stick." We see it and hear much the same on television too. And who is being forgotten in a[...]
Last evening a number of us listened to the talk Bill Wilson gave the very evening of Dr. Bob Smith's death. We sat mesmerized. Very recently I had seen the play of Bill and Dr. Bob at The Illusion theater in Minneapolis, and it was powerful, indeed. But hearing Bill, in his own voice, talk about the two of them and how they came together and struggled to get man number three "on-board" was awe inspiring. And now we number in the millions. I have heard we exceed twenty million worldwide. I don't know if that's true but what I do know, what we all know w[...]
I have been extremely busy lately doing what I love doing; however, being "on the treadmill" without taking time to breathe, to rest, to pray, isn't healthy. For me or any one. For a number of week ends I have been on the road leading workshops, an activity that absolutely thrills me, filling me up with hope and spiritual connection. But I must retreat to the quiet space in my mind to reconvene a conversation with God as I understand him when I get home. It's in my walks, my meditations, my "conversations" while working on a book that I most easily access G[...]
It's far too easy to get pulled off course, I think. The myriad moods of the many people we encounter on a daily basis, if allowed to control how we feel in the moment, will keep us unsettled and unfulfilled for most of the day. It's no fun to live in this kind of turmoil. But the habit is hard to break. For many, it begins in childhood. Perhaps a very demanding parent prevented you from having an identity that was separate, in some respects, from the family. What dad believed, every one had to believe. Or you had a teacher or a boss that belittled you fo[...]