We get just what we need. Really?

How many times have I repeated this phrase to a friend, a sponsee, a family member?  More times than I can count.  And I believe it.  For them.  And occasionally for me too.  However, I am struggling with a situation currently that I am not ready to embrace as something I need.  I know what I need to do.  Darn it!  I need to be grateful for it, for the lesson it is offering me, and for the growth that’s promised as the result of the situation.  But right now, I want to resist.  I want to make someone else responsible.  I want to say, “Not fair.  I don’t deserve this.”

And actually, it’s not even about deserving something or not.  It’s simply about accepting a situation that I can’t change or control in any way.  There is one person I can control and we all know who she is.  My responses to people, places and things are entirely of my own choosing.  The question is, “Do I want to be peaceful or right?”  I have chosen to insist I am right on far too many occasions and the result was painful.  I don’t want to take that route any more.  I really don’t.

I have talked this over with friends.  I have shared it at more than one meeting.  And I have prayed and meditated but I haven’t allowed myself to get free of the mental obsession that the situation should be different.  I’ve been traveling this recovery path nearly 40 years.  I’m a bit ashamed to be caught in a quagmire that is so miniscule.  The ego never matures, however.  And it’s the ego that is at the helm of my obsession.

One of the first things we learn in recovery is to pray for the people we resent.  Some say pray for them for two weeks.  My sponsor always said a month of prayer was necessary.  I am beginning my month long prayer commitment today.  By December 20th I should be in a far better place.  Just in time for the holidays.  Seems like a good idea, doesn’t it?  If you are having a problem that is similar to mine, why don’t you join me on this commitment?  Being at greater peace will definitely add to the peace felt throughout the universe too.  This is a truth I cherish.

 

2 Comments

  1. I’ll join you 😉 I still get into perfectionistic thinking that nothing will ever happen again. I have recovery nailed and life will always be this serene. Life keeps happening though. Some of the people I live with and I’m closest too I resent. It won’t hurt me to pray 😉 you are right the ego never matures, it always wants what it wants. There was a visitor at my meeting last week said she works a slogan each year at the new year for the entire year. This year I’m going to work one day at a time. Last night I went to bed meditating on that slogan. I was thinking how am I going to get through the next two years. Projection… I thought I will do it one day at a time 😉 much love and happy thanksgiving.

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