It's said that football is the great national pastime. For sure, it's a good excuse for parties, for waging bets, for eating chips and chili. Many who don't much like the game gather in the living rooms of friends any way. Being part of a group feels good to most of us. And many of us lived outside "the group" for far too many years. I can well remember the early decades of my life when I stood outside the circle, hoping to be invited in and then when I was, I felt conspicuous and insecure. I simple didn't feel comfortable any where. How good the pass[...]
0 EVERY EXPERIENCE IS OFFERING THE NEXT “RIGHT” LESSON AND THE RIGHT PARTNER TO LEARN IT WITH. This idea can be exceedingly comforting. The past is not a pretty sight for many of us who finally wander into the rooms of recovery. My early life was replete with experiences that were ugly, oftentimes dangerous, and according to others, on the edge of insanity far too often. But I survived them all and I have a story that has, on occasion, been helpful to some one who has come to me for guidance. I developed hope eventually, hope that my life could be as sa[...]
IF IT ISN’T LOVE, IT’S ALWAYS FEAR. I was first introduced to this idea as I timidly began my spiritual quest in the 1970’s. This concept, along with so many others woven into the many and varied books I was reading, broadened my perspective on how to experience life and the many relationships I seemed to be “inviting along for the ride.” Becoming a student of myriad spiritual ideas offered me a deeper layer of understanding about every life that was touching mine, an understanding that complimented my early journey in the rooms of AA and Al-Anon.[...]
As I said in my last post, I have been trying to manage the schedule of many others so that my impending hip replacement could be done at a time that benefits me. I succeeded. God did get his will in line with mine. Of course, I am making a joke here. But it did happen smoothly once I got myself out of the way. While it's true I did have a window of time that worked best for me because of the many workshops I already have scheduled, I knew that I had no real control over the chosen date. I could accept or refuse whatever date the surgeon offered, but I[...]
I have been out of sorts lately. I have been told I need a hip replacement and I have a very busy travel schedule. I know when I would prefer having the surgery. However, God's plan may be different from mine. Every thing I have "preached" for years has come back to haunt me. It's time to practice what I so freely preach. We are always in the right place at the right time. There is a perfect plan unfolding for my life. If I listen to my higher power, I will be able to experience this next stage of my life peacefully. And on and on. But then I come b[...]
Every person we travel these roads with have made their trek to us because they need us and what we know as much as we need them for what they can teach us. This idea has been stressed in earlier essays but it’s one worth further emphasis because of the importance of the journey we share. Knowing that every person is specific to our education means we don’t have to be fearful about the experiences that present themselves. We have been guided to each experience and we will be led through it too. I have heard it said in many gatherings, that God never bri[...]
Detachment is taking responsibility for our own life. Not blaming others for anything that has happened to us in this life is the mark of spiritual maturity. It’s also a goal that most of us have to spend years striving to attain. It’s not unusual to want to make others responsible for our failures or for our insufficiencies. Being told that the circumstances of our birth, the unloving parent or spouse, or the inability to master the educational system can’t be blamed aren’t easy pills for us to swallow. But until we say to ourselves and others, “I am[...]
I had an opportunity to meet some one I took an instant dislike to at a friend’s home recently. Every thing about the man got under my skin. He was loud; he didn’t listen to others when they spoke; he seemed particularly dismissive of women; he was very judgmental, from my perception, and it seemed we had nothing in common. And then I heard him mention he was in recovery. What a difference that piece of information made to me. Why was I so quick to dismiss him at first and then just as quickly forgive him his “apparent” flaws, when I found out we shared[...]
I was at a wonderful twelve step meeting Tuesday night. It's a closed discussion meeting and whatever the topic, it always elicits great comments and personal exploration; but Tuesday's meeting was particularly special because a man, likely in his early 50's, had shown up for his very first meeting. And this gave all of us pause to reflect on our own story of what it was like as compared to what it's like now. He seemed to listen intently. He seemed grateful for our messages, but I have learned, we all have learned, that we share to keep ourselves moving a[...]
EVERY LOVING THOUGHT IS TRUE. EVERY THING ELSE IS AN APPEAL FOR HEALING AND HELP. This particular spiritual principle has become very important to my peace of mind. It gives me a simple shorthand for interpreting the experiences I am having. For much of my life, I was quick to judge others for their actions, their opinions, even their appearance. I’d like to say I have outgrown all of those judgments; however, I would be lying. I am acutely aware of them though and that’s progress. But let me elaborate on the meaning of the principle. Loving thoughts are pr[...]