Not being overly attached to others is a sign of growth. . .
Detachment is taking responsibility for our own life.
Not blaming others for anything that has happened to us in this life is the mark of spiritual maturity. It’s also a goal that most of us have to spend years striving to attain. It’s not unusual to want to make others responsible for our failures or for our insufficiencies. Being told that the circumstances of our birth, the unloving parent or spouse, or the inability to master the educational system can’t be blamed aren’t easy pills for us to swallow. But until we say to ourselves and others, “I am wholly responsible for all that has occurred in my life,” we will not be able to move out of the prison we have built for ourselves.
Being fully responsible may feel daunting initially. But taking the responsibility in small “bites” makes it more digestible. Believing that we did the best we could with the information we had available is a good place to begin. This is also a good place to begin when we think of the supposed failings of our parents. They too did the best they could. Until we can come to terms with that, most of us won’t be very willing to take responsibility for what later followed in our own lives. A great analogy is to think of ourselves as toddlers trying to learn how to walk: we fall a lot. And that’s okay. Getting up again is what’s important.
Not looking to someone else to pick us up is the mark of maturity. We are on the path of emotional and spiritual maturity right now. Moving forward a step at a time is all that’s suggested.