I just got back from a 4 mile walk. I love the morning walk, particularly when the birds are intent on serenading me. The sun was warm and the other walkers wore smiles, as did I. There was an occasional breeze which I appreciated. I use my walk as a time for prayer and meditation. My list of people is long, some times too long for much quiet time to hear God’s messages to me. In fact, today I had a lot of difficulty being quiet. I have a long list of projects that feel somewhat overdue. I haven’t missed any deadlines but they are looming. The irony is that I so love my work that it’s not from procrastination that I feel rushed and tense. It’s simply from the “list” that looms.
If I were honest right now I’d have to say that God couldn’t get my attention for the quiet moments I needed with him because I was rearranging “the list” repeatedly. I can do this before lunch. . . and that this afternoon. . . and after having dinner with friends, I will tackle this. . . And then tomorrow. . .
I have never failed to miss a deadline actually. In fact, I usually get finished ahead of time. I think I get weighed down more by having a project, any project, undone. And then when they are all finished, I rest and then get antsy and on the prowl for the next group of projects. Actually I feel pretty lucky that I approach life in this fashion. I know many who procrastinate themselves right out of jobs, or school, or marriages.
My approach, which may not work for everyone, is to work a few hours everyday on at least one or two projects. I don’t sit in my office for an 8 hour stretch. Not even a 4 hour stretch. I break frequently, check email, make calls, eat a snack, get a news update. And then pick up where I left off. The rhythm I’ve grown accustomed to works for me. Perhaps it’s one you could try too.
But I titled this blog: tension will mount so I want to return to that in closing. My tension develops when I am too long away from my work. As I mentioned in the preceding blog, my family visited for a week and it was a glorious time; however, I didn’t even address my list and it needs attention. My walk was consumed with the rearrangement of it. What I need and needed was time with God, not the list.
God got short-shrift when my family was here too. Putting my spiritual life on-hold puts my well-being at risk. I feel back on track now that I have written this and I’m grateful. Thanks for your attention.