Stepping away for a spell . . .

It has been nearly two months since I last posted a message. I am truly sorry for my long absence. Like so many of us, I occasionally fall into a funk. This one seemed pretty deep. Actually, it was pretty deep. I knew it would eventually go away. It was the result of a medication problem; however, when a funk sets in it can feel like it will never leave. This one felt very much like that and I certainly had no words of wisdom to share.

As a matter of fact though, I do believe it is wise to own our feelings, thus share them, all of them. Even when we don’t like them. Perhaps then most of all. I did share my struggle with friends at support meetings. I didn’t isolate myself, but I just didn’t have the energy to write a blog post about my condition. I have been on this recovery path for more than 40 years so I’m inclined to think, “I shouldn’t be here once again.” But for those of us who are long timers, I think it’s especially valuable to share our struggles. Life isn’t always what we want it to be. But it is what it needs to be, always, for our greater good.

What I mean by that is our lessons are woven into our experiences and lessons are often unappreciated at the time they are happening. There is a reason for them, however, and in time we will understand why they “came calling.” As the result of my sharing my depression at meetings, both AA and Al-Anon, many came up to me and thanked me for sharing so openly. I know we all need to hear how others are really doing. Daring to be courageous in this way is a gift, to those who are present and to the person sharing the truth.

I am happy to share that the depression has left. The medication problem got sorted out. And I feel like myself once again. Thus here I am, writing a note to all of you. I truly appreciated the notes from you expressing concern about my “whereabouts.” Having others in our lives who take notice when we aren’t around is such a gift. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The best thing I can say about this recent “set-back,” is that I was able, once again, to receive confirmation that all really was happening in divine order. And now I can share, even more honestly with others, that depression makes its mark for a reason. And no one has to lose hope. No one. Knowing that you have my back and I have yours is such sweet comfort, isn’t it?

If someone close to you seems depressed, share my story with them. It just may help.


  1. Evelyn Polesny says:

    A dear friend gave me your book last weekend, it had been her mother’s copy and she wanted me to read that one in particular, because it has her mom’s name in it, and your note to her in your handwriting on the cover. I’ve been on a deep and very difficult life/spiritual journey for some years now, and came to deep faith (and conversion) during that time. Faith has sustained me (and a few miracles!) but my circumstances continue to be difficult, and sometimes I stumble. Tonight was one of those nights. I was literally on my knees begging God to show me what to do, what he wanted of me, to give me courage to keep going. And there was plenty of grumbling in the desert in my prayers. He gave me some tiny ray of peace, and finally I stood up and saw your book on the table, and took it up to my room to read it. I looked at the name of my friend’s mother, gone seven years now, and your note to her and her husband, and asked her to send me all her love, and began to read. Have been reading for 1/2 hour now and my heart is a little lighter, my mind a little clearer. I wanted you to know that. Her name was Anne Loucas, in case you will remember her.

    • Evelyn Polesny says:

      I didn’t know it would show my name on the comments! Can you please make sure my last name at least doesn’t show? I usually go by Gerda as a screen name.

      • Hi again,
        I am so sorry that I have no way to remove your last name. However, I do believe that people who sign on here are trusting souls.

        Be at peace.

    • Hi Evelyn,
      Indeed, I do remember her. I will keep you in my prayers as well. I firmly believe that together, and with God, we can walk through any thing. I am so glad you wrote.

      Many blessings to you.


  2. Love all of your work! Thank you for your openess here about being depressed. You mention a medication glitch. Do you belive in the use of antidepressants in recovery, as I know so many in the program do not. It is a sticky subject among many.
    Here’s to finding Joy again!

    • Hi Margaret,
      Thanks for writing. I am so relieved that I have “come home to myself” again. And medication, the right medication, has been a solution for me. I have been chronically depressed since very young but avoided medication for the first 17 years of my recovery, for the very reason you mentioned. Folks in the program judged against it. Finally I was convinced by my doctor to give it a try. what a difference it made. Unfortunately, I made the decision to switch meds, against my doctor’s better judgment, and the consequences were dire. Getting back on what is right for me has been a God send. However, I would never presume to tell others to take medication. It’s a decision that needs to be made with a good doctor.

      Blessings to you.

  3. Welcome back you have been missed and I am glad you are well! I too can relate to your story so you are not alone.

    • Hi Roni,
      Thanks so much for checking in. And thanks, too, for your support. I am delighted to be able to say that I feel like the storm has passed. I feel like myself, once again, and I am so grateful.

      Hugs to you.

  4. Elaina Edman says:

    Every struggle can be a lesson in how to better help another. Thank you for sharing your journey… When we share, we can see how all of our seemingly different roads take us all to the same place!

    • Hi Elaina,
      I am so glad you took the time to write. And I’m doubly glad to receive your support. My reason for writing is because I want to stay in touch with people like you.

      Again, thanks.

  5. Mary Ann Petron says:

    I have missed your sharing. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

    • Hi Mary Ann,
      Being down and out for a while wasn’t fun, but now I feel like a whole person again. Thanks for your support. I hope to be more available from now on.

      Again, blessings to you.

  6. So glad you are back! And, I can relate to your story.

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