Cleaning and sorting . . .

Perhaps this seems like an odd topic for a post, but sorting through the “stuff” of my life has garnered my attention since returning from Naples.  And it feels good.  I think approaching 76 has given me reason to pause.  What more do I need to do?  How do I best continue to fulfill the Will of God?   What truly calls to me now?

I am actually thrilled to be sitting in my study, going through my library, reading a bit, choosing which books to pass on to the thrift store, and in the process, revisiting some spiritual ideas that I hunger for once again.  THE NEW EARTH by Eckhart Tolle is high on my list right now.  How comforting his words are while I am in the midst of this “sorting out.” I need not worry about the next stage.  It is moving toward me as I am ready for it.

One of the books that has captured my attention is my Ph.D. dissertation.  I haven’t read it since submitting it to my committee back in 1978.  It passed the grade but as I reread it now, I am amazed that I knew so much then, most of which seems beyond me now.  Where did all this information that I once knew so easily escape to?  This is a great reminder that we are always evolving,  We are never done.  What needs to come from us will push it’s way out of us when the time is right, just as my dissertation and every book I have published since then has managed to do.  My life is “none of my business,” as Anthony Hopkins so eloquently said in an interview with David Frost a number of years ago.

That comforts me now as I sit here contemplating what to do next. I do have a book that will hit the stores in early fall and another one is in the process of being formulated in my mind.  In that regard, I know my work will continue, but it’s the extras in my life that are calling me to attention right now.  Do I want more play, or more quiet contemplation or both?  And do I really want a dog?  We re thinking of getting one, but we have never had one before.  I am both eager to do it and a bit leery.  Probably perfectly normal for one my age.

What brings me comfort, in all of this sorting and thinking is the awareness that nothing I do, or think, is happening in isolation.  Even when I feel alone, I am not alone and I love knowing that.  Like so many of us, I spent the first few decades of my life never knowing who I was or what my life was all about.  What I know now, with absolute clarity, is that there was One who did know what my life was all about.  And that One is very present in this moment, cleaning and sorting right along with me.

What a blessing.

 

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