Respecting the boundaries between us and our fellow-travelers is another name for “freedom.”
Attachment to people deadlocks our growth. Those women and men on our journey are blessings, for sure. Every one of them. Even those people who seem to be difficult to be around. It’s been said by the really wise that the more difficult an encounter, the greater the lesson and ultimate wisdom gained. However, if we let the presence of any one on our path, those people we adore as well as those we abhor, side track us from the “work” we are here to do, we will be cheating ourselves. And when we cheat ourselves, we are cheating every one else too. That’s simply how it works. Our interconnection to all humanity makes this so.
Attaching ourselves to others seems like a natural response. The feeling of aloneness, of separation from others is palpable and haunting. And then we cling to whomever wanders too close like the moth to the flame. This isn’t something to be ashamed of. Wanting connection with others is good. It’s normal. It’s also very healing for both parties. But nurturing a connection for the purpose of healing our wounded inner spirit and forming an attachment that stifles the growth of either party is not the reason we have found each other on this journey. We have found each other solely to act as listeners, healers, prayerful companions. Not to be hostages to one another.
We are free to grow and help each other grow. Consider every expression of consideration like the rain drops that are so necessary to the seedlings the farmer plants each spring. We are doing our part every time we offer an attentive heart. Nothing more is asked of us. Nothing more need be offered.
One of the greatest gifts I’ve received on this recovery path is the gift of observation. Simply watching how the wise in my circle behaved toward the others we traveled among taught me more than words could have conveyed. I have heard it said that we all want someone to witness our journey. But witnessing, or observing, are far different from involving ourselves.
Even when others request our help doesn’t necessarily mean we should get involved. Our journeys are unique. Be wary of the invitations to go where we don’t belong. Being free to love and honor each of us is the purpose of the journey. For sure. However, we can do this only when we allow our companions the freedom they need, the same freedom we too must value.
