I spent the first four decades of my life mostly living in the past or anticipating the future. I had no awareness that was what I was doing. It astounds me, actually, that a person as well educated as I was could be so unaware of the nuances of my life. But quite truthfully, I was pretty consistently blind to the moment and the people crossing my path. I don’t mean that I didn’t see them but I didn’t allow their presence the opportunity to rise to the level of true awareness. I glanced, perhaps listened superficiality to their words, but stayed heavily absorbed in my own drama. And drama it was.
I read Be Here Now by Ram Dass in the mid-seventies and was intrigued, more so on the second reading, not only with the content but with the form he chose to share the content. To make sense of the book took concentration because one was sometimes forced to turn it upside down to read the message. It was a clever way to convey his philosophy, I thought. But the real depth of the message escaped me. Being present to only the moment one was experiencing seemed far beyond my grasp. And it didn’t seem necessarily appealing to me either. I was an organized woman who was very focused on planning for the future. I had a responsible job that required me to develop strategic plans, ones that projected 3 to 5 years out. Living in this moment only wasn’t conceivable to me.
How I got from that mind-set to where I am now is fascinating to me. I hadn’t planned to make this journey. It wasn’t part of the dream I had for my life but here I am. Cherishing the knowledge that no instant but this instant counts. Nothing needs to trouble me about the future because when it arrives, I will be able to discern the right interpretation and that will dictate my right response. Life is so very simple since having adopted these tools. And all it has taken is the willingness to slow down, to really slow down, and believe that every one of us is where we need to be in each tiny instant of time. What a marvelous way to see. Hallelujah.
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