Family ties are the sweetest when one opens the heart.

I just returned from a four day visit with my siblings.  My two older sisters and I joined my brother and his wife in Phoenix.  It was perfect in every way.  There was a time in my life when I would not have relished  a visit such as this, primarily because there were areas of disagreement between us.  My own ego used to look for reasons to be combative or judgmental or both.  I was certain that my opinions about every thing were the right ones.  If you disagreed,  I was quick to point out how wrong you were.

My family caught the brunt of my poor attitude much of the time.  I used to blame my dad for this aspect of my character.  He was combative, for sure.  But I made my own choices. No one can make us combative or judgmental.   We select who we will be on a minute by minute basis.

Fortunately, maturity does “call on us,” if we are open to it.  My maturity began developing when I got involved in 12 step programs.  Their principles offered me a better way to live; a slower, saner, more loving way to live.  I can’t imagine returning to the old way of living now.  However, I do know that I must be vigilant about staying on this path.  It has been said that we are never far from the ditch.

I never enjoyed the gift of peace that has become my constant companion before I got into recovery.  I never before offered “real” love to any one without seeking it first.  I wanted an indication from you that I mattered and was central to your life if I was to give you any thing in return.  How lonely my life was, in retrospect.  Even when surrounded by others, I felt isolated.  Separate.  And it was because of my own self-centeredness.

I have learned so much over the years, I am happy to report.  I have learned that what we give away, comes back to us ten-fold.  I have learned that cultivating a peaceful heart benefits whatever setting I find myself in.  I have learned that our families are the perfect companions for us to learn the lessons we were born to experience.  Best of all, I have learned that making a companion of God while in the midst of family or even any group of total strangers allows me to be at ease and willing to simply relish each moment.

As I said earlier, the time spent with family last week was indeed perfect.  I have matured enough, thank goodness, to love them in the way they deserve to be loved.  The same way all members of the human community deserve to be loved.  Praise us one and all.