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Reflections in the Mirror – You and Yourself

Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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July 19, 2010

Making the decision to do no harm, one act at a time. . .

I was in a great conversation with some women friends this morning.  In fact, we talk every morning about the spiritual journey we share.  It's not only a wonderful way to begin the day but it's a great opportunity to make a valuable contribution to the world we share with so many others.  Our conversations always center on leaving the world a more peaceful place than we may found it when first arising.  This morning our discussion boiled down to doing no harm, even for a minute, when in an encounter with a friend or a stranger. Making the decision to live "[...]

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Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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July 13, 2010

Are you doing the same old thing expecting a different outcome?

The first time I heard that the definition of insanity was repeating the same behavior, over and over again, expecting different results; I knew my name had been called.  I simply had never known I could make an entirely new choice in how I interpreted what others were doing or saying.  Nor did I understand that I could choose a decidedly different response to the data presented to me.  My learning curve was steep, I must say.  How lucky I feel that my journey was to include the 12 step path. It's nice to be able to acknowledge that I have grown with the help[...]

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Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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June 2, 2010

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. . .

The title of this blog is a quote by Aristotle, likely written about 350 BC.  It's an amazingly meaningful quote, I think, and if lived by, would be world changing.  I was on the phone this morning with a group of business folks discussing the application of this thought in our work lives and for certain, it could play a big role there.  It would allow brain-storming to go to a whole new level.  And conflict resolution would be greatly advanced too.  But I think our personal lives would vastly improve also if we allowed for the differing opinions of others. Â[...]

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Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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April 23, 2010

Opening our hearts to one another. . .

Because of a piece I have been writing for a workshop, I have been thinking about the importance of having an open heart if we want to heal and help others heal too. Only very recently I found myself in a downward spiral emotionally, a spiral not unfamiliar to me.  I have suffered from chronic depression for much of my life.  I am happy to say I have received help for it, but I can still wander into the shadowy places if I turn away from the people and experiences God has sent to help me grow. What makes me withdraw, emotionally, remains a mystery but every few[...]

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Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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March 23, 2010

Is incivility becoming the rule of the land?

I don't know if you favor the health care reform bill or not.  That's none of my business and this blog is not intended to be political.  However, whatever side of this particular issue, or any issue any of us happen to favor, our thoughts can and should be expressed in terms that are not hateful toward one group of citizens or another. What we all saw on cable news over the week end, the mean-spirited placards at the rallies, the spitting on an individual congressman, the extremely vile name calling, are all examples of behavior that's shameful. A democracy al[...]

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Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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February 12, 2010

Being introduced to a new "way of seeing" is a pleasure. . .

I was talking with a friend the other evening about "attachment issues" and how common they are to so many of us.  Codependency has gotten a bit of a bad name over the years because it is thrown around and used to describe myriad reactions to people, places and things.  My friend shared with me a new term: Independency.  Her therapist talked to her about strengthening her independency rather than trying to eliminate her codependency. Independency resonates with me.  It's empowering and hopeful and achievable, I think, one action at a time.  Too many simply c[...]

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Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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February 7, 2010

The superbowl gathers friends together much like Thanksgiving does.

It's said that football is the great national pastime.  For sure, it's a good excuse for parties, for waging bets, for eating chips and chili.  Many who don't much like the game gather in the living rooms of friends any way.  Being part of a group feels good to most of us.  And many of us lived outside "the group" for far too many years. I can well remember the early decades of my life when I stood outside the circle, hoping to be invited in and then when I was, I felt conspicuous and insecure.  I simple didn't feel comfortable any where.  How good the pass[...]

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Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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January 20, 2010

Not being overly attached to others is a sign of growth. . .

Detachment is taking responsibility for our own life. Not blaming others for anything that has happened to us in this life is the mark of spiritual maturity. It’s also a goal that most of us have to spend years striving to attain. It’s not unusual to want to make others responsible for our failures or for our insufficiencies.  Being told that the circumstances of our birth, the unloving parent or spouse, or the inability to master the educational system can’t be blamed aren’t easy pills for us to swallow. But until we say to ourselves and others, “I am[...]

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Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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December 28, 2009

Filling the space between Christmas and New Years. . .

I don't know about you but I feel a bit discombobulated during the holiday week.  I wake up wondering what day it is.  I plug in the indoor lights because I love them but it feels somewhat anticlimactic to do so.  I feel like it's appropriate to give myself some time "to vacation" from the work that calls to me and yet I am more comfortable in my structured existence.  I seem to go through the motions of living rather than getting down to the nitty-gritty. Lunches with friends, dinner parties too, give this time a special quality, of course, but I feel like I[...]

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Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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November 16, 2009

Change is the opportunity to see anew. . .

My husband and I just returned to Naples, Florida for the winter months.  Leaving Minnesota is always bittersweet but then arriving here is delicious.  We have been making this switch in locations since 1991 so we are old-hands at packing up and reclaiming our space here.  What adds to the joy of being here is seeing the friends we have missed and returning to the wonderful meetings that sustain us throughout the winter months. Having the fellowship, on both ends, actually makes the move easy.  The welcome mat is always out.  But change can still be hard for[...]

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