Taking ourselves and the situations in our lives too seriously is not a necessary part of the growth curve.

What a relief to be reminded by good friends, (and it takes a good, and brave friend to do it,) that we need not overreact to the common, ordinary situations that occur on a daily basis.  As a matter of course, reacting, rather than making a calm choice to simply act, would describe many of us.   And the situation that inspires the reaction is most often not even worth taking note of, let alone reacting to.

Being too serious or over-reactive is often the result of being so self-absorbed that it results in having a very limited perspective on life.  Me, me, me is the theme of too many people’s lives. This perspective needs a complete over-haul and seldom gets it unless good friends dare to offer helpful suggestions.

I was lucky in my early sobriety to have just such a friend in Rita.  She stopped me in my tracks during a phone call, a story I shared earlier in this chapter.  I never stopped thanking Rita for her words of truth.  I needed the truth.  I needed a friend who was brave enough to offer it.  I needed to get off the poor-me couch and change my outlook on life if I wanted different experiences and a different outcome to some of the same old experiences.

No one can change us just as we can change no one else.  Change is a decision that must be made by each of us but feedback from others regarding their observations of how we respond to our shared experiences, might be the very suggestions or comments we need to commit to making an inventory of who we are in myriad situations.

Knowing ourselves and changing what we should so we can grow in the ways that are important is why we are here, after all.  Helping one another “see “ what might be hidden to us, in a respectful way, might well be considered one of the reasons for any two people to have “found” each other.  At least it’s an idea I find very accommodating. And comforting.

There is purpose to our lives and assuredly, it’s not to live trapped in problems, ours or other people’s.  We can, instead, define our problems as the “classroom lessons”  that are perfect for us and those we are sharing them with.  Whining about them or complaining to friends or strangers or refusing to address them in a calm, rational way means we are choosing to live in the problems rather than moving forward on our learning curve.  We can stay stuck, if that’s our preference.  Or we can say to each and every one of them, “So what!.”

It has become my preference in many instances to say so what rather than make a big deal of the many ordinary situations that arise, day in and day out, in my life or the life of a companion.  I have found that the level of my peace is directly proportional to this decision to look away, walk away, disengage.  Peace of mind is a choice and it can’t be found if we wallow in problems.  That’s my perspective, at least.  What’s yours?