I have a new sponsee. She is a lovely young Native American woman who at the age of 30, is the mother of five. Her husband gently asked if I'd be her temporary sponsor at a meeting we both attended and I happily called her that day. Since then I have been picking her up weekly and taking her to meetings. Life isn't all that easy for her and her husband. They are both recovering from heroin addiction and are on a methadone program. The requirements are stringent but they are meeting them. Getting their children back is one of the driving forces. Being[...]
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Your Experience, Strength and Hope
2 Listening is a gift of nearly immeasurable proportion that we can give to others. There are really no words that can adequately describe the importance of "tuning in to" the words of a friend, or on occasion, a stranger who is hurting. We have often heard it said that pain is lessened when it is shared. And it allows the listener to feel a sense of worthiness too. She or he knows they are helping some one heal when they turn their attention fully on the one who needs to talk. Having some one witness who we are in the moment, whether we are scared or in[...]
One of my best friends was just diagnosed with breast cancer in both breasts. I met her yesterday for lunch and we hugged each other really tight. I am sad. I am scared for her. But I am sure that her Higher Power is holding her hand at this very moment. And I am holding her in my heart. I ask that all of you do the same please. Her name is Kaye. She has been one of my companions on this road of recovery for 35 years. We are aging, you and I. And with the advancing years, health challenges occur. I understand this but when it hits close to home, I reb[...]
Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, What I Believe - You and Your Higher Power, Your Experience, Strength and Hope
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Awareness is the key to living full lives. . .
I read a wonderful little book yesterday by David Foster Wallace. The title is This Is Water. It's one of those special little books that takes a hold of you and doesn't let go. It's actually a commencement address that Mr. Wallace gave at Kenyon College in 2005. He begins with a simple story about two young fish swimming along and an older fish swims by and says, "Hello. How's the water?" After swimming on a bit, one fish looks at the other and says, "What's water?" The message, of course, is that we don't actually see what's all around us. We liv[...]
I think many of us develop our faith as a result of hind-sight coupled with the practice of prayer and meditation. I certainly didn't "come by my faith" naturally. I didn't grow up in a family where it was openly practiced or even discussed. At family gatherings my uncle said grace before eating but he was chosen only because he occasionally sobered up by reading the bible. No one went to church on a regular basis. No one. I was in a church youth group in high school but I was the sole representative for our family at Sunday services. Fear absolutel[...]
Choosing to see, and feel peace in the midst of the chaos that's so common in our lives is a decision that will change every minute of every experience from this day forward. Perhaps this seems like a stretch of the imagination that one could live this way. And I won't pretend that it's an easy choice initially, but it is doable and it does become almost second nature with consistent practice. I highly recommend it, in fact. My life has changed immeasurably since making a commitment to the practice of seeing peace rather than the distractions that can thro[...]
We can begin to cultivate hope in ourselves and others by acknowledging the many people who are on our path by intention. By acknowledge, I mean to really look into the eyes of the many who surround you. No one is “there” accidentally. No one! When we embrace that awareness, the fear we so easily let fester in unfamiliar circumstances, diminishes. There is no way to initiate hope when fear lingers at the edge of our mind. The simple recognition that wherever we are is where we have been called to be can change our mood and expectations and suspend ou[...]
I have been traveling much of the last two weeks. I was in Austin, Texas, speaking at the annual Austin Recovery Organization fund raiser and then last week I spent 5 days in Phoenix speaking at an event, doing a show on television and then a book signing. All experiences were very rewarding. I love the interactions with every one. They inspire me. Being able to look people in the eyes, shake their hands, or give them a hug, makes the work I do a blessing every single day. However, the down side is that the travel part wears me out a bit. I got hom[...]
I was at a meeting tonight and the topic was hope. It's a certainty that everyone who comes to any 12 step group for the first time is bereft of hope. And we seldom even realize that to be the case. We just know that we are terrified and sick of being sick and confused. In my case I went to Al-Anon first. I was looking for a shorthand way to control the crazy, alcoholic man in my life. I wasn't impressed with the steps that were hanging on the wall. I wanted steps to tell me how to control him. And others too. Alas. That's not what I learned.[...]
At my 12 step meeting this morning, the topic was how to "get over ourselves" those mornings we feel like snarly cats. Gratefully, I don't have those mornings very often, any more, but I used to grouse at every one upon arising. It wasn't simply that I needed coffee, although that first cup often helped. More than that I needed an attitude adjustment. Fortunately I had a sponsor who kept the program simple, and she'd always say "act as if." I felt like an impostor at first. I guess I was, in all honesty. But the solution she suggested worked. That[...]