Listening is a tool that can help someone heal. . .

Listening is a gift of nearly immeasurable proportion that we can give to others.  There are really no words that can adequately describe the importance of “tuning in to” the words of a friend, or on occasion, a stranger who is hurting.  We have often heard it said that pain is lessened when it is shared.  And it allows the listener to feel a sense of worthiness too.  She or he knows they are helping some one heal when they turn their attention fully on the one who needs to talk.

Having some one witness who we are in the moment, whether we are scared or in the middle of a tragic situation, takes away our feeling of aloneness.  Of course we are never alone.  Our Higher Power is always present to lend support, but it’s far too easy to block that promise out, so having help and hope offered to us by a person we can actually see and touch makes a difference, a huge difference.

I just returned from a week end AA and Al-Anon conference in West Palm Beach, FL. where I was the Saturday night keynote speaker.  As is true of all such events, the feeling I get from being asked to speak is one of intense gratitude for this journey I am on.  In those moments at the podium I am always struck by how close I lived to the edge of madness and how the God of my Understanding said, “No Karen.  I have another plan for you.”  What a humble awareness that is when I stand before a few hundred people.

One of the first realizations I had when I came into the rooms of Al-Anon and AA, (I have been a double winner for 35 years), was that others found it a privilege to listen.  I soon experienced what that privilege felt like as newcomers or old-timers asked for a minute of my time.  This past week end I had many who came forth and simply needed to share.  Some times they were sharing words of praise for how one of my books had helped them but at others, they talked about a struggle that was demanding their full emotional attention right now.

I knew they weren’t looking for advice.  They didn’t expect me to save them or change any situation that was troubling them. They wanted to be heard, simply heard and I was honored to be the one selected to listen.  It’s really a small gift of time to listen.  The change it can nurture in the person who needs to be heard will ripple far beyond him or her.  That’s an idea worthy of savoring.