Stop Focusing on Problems: Seek Solutions Instead. Others watch how we behave. Does it match what we say? Or are we making problems bigger than they are? Alcoholics Anonymous suggests that attraction to their program is more effective than promotion of it. The same holds true for behavior in relationships, doesn’t it? Telling others what they should do in regard to a problem will[...]
12 After being at a meeting this morning, I was thinking about the joy of this journey we share. Every one in my group was some one who has become very close to my heart. But I also thought about all those who haven't wandered into the recovery rooms yet and want to remember them too. We must hold in our hearts all people. Every person alive, in fact. Those we consider enemies as we[...]
Being focused on any one else will prevent us from doing the work we are here to do. It’s far too easy to sit in judgment of others, to criticize them silently or audibly. It has become important to me to remember that every person alive has a very specific jour- ney, one that will intersect mine on occasion; sometimes we will be at cross-purposes, in fact. But the intersection is wh[...]
Interdependence is the hallmark of a healthy relationship. Getting enmeshed in someone else’s life generally happens when we are feeling in- secure, and uncertain of ourselves. We cling to the “object of our affection,” and then mistakenly think that if we are constantly “in sync,” if we are in agreement on every topic of discussion, opinion, value and goal; we are meant for ea[...]
