Relationships: As Peaceful As We Make Them

Peaceful relationships are not accidental
By Karen Casey, Ph.D.

Taking responsibility for the tenor and content of our relationships is our greatest opportunity for making a difference in our individual lives and in the world we share with others. And, neither being responsible nor seizing the opportunity for making a difference requires us to make complicated changes in our behavior.

On the contrary, a variation on what’s already a typical behavior has the power to change us in positive ways, as well as the people who are sharing our lives. I have seldom met a person who was discontent who didn’t mistakenly think that more toys or clothes or a different relationship or job was the solution for the dissatisfaction. However, “outer circumstances” can’t change inner feelings, except momentarily perhaps. To sustain contentment requires paying close attention to who we are, not what we have. And, who we are closely mirrors how we act.

Being able to change who we are is a decision we can make within the context of every experience. The person we were in any encounter yesterday doesn’t have to be who we are today. And when we choose to express a more loving self, even once a day, everyone benefits. The effects of every action, good or bad, are exponential. While we can’t ever control the actions of others, we are always in control of our own actions.