The principles for living a gentler life are so obvious. . .

We make our lives far more complicated than they need to be.  Do we think moving through the many phases of our life requires complexity if we want to “show others” how important we are?  That has the ring of truth to it, I think.  But the “actual truth,” as I have come to understand it,  is the opposite of that.  Very definitely the opposite of that.

Perhaps aging has changed my perspective.  Maybe it’s living according to the principles of the twelve steps that has prompted  my reversal of thinking.  But the older I am the less I want to be “ruffled” by life.  So the following simple principles are my guideposts now.  Feel free to take what fits for you and leave the rest, as we so commonly hear in recovery rooms.  My hope for you is that you love life.  Just as I do.  That you cherish the many encounters you have day by day.  And that you remember you will not pass this way again.  Tread lightly.

The Principles

1. Come to appreciate that every person on one’s path is a learning partner. 

 2. Every argument is about fear. 

 3. No relationship is accidental.  Be grateful.  

 4. Make the choice to be peaceful rather than right.

 5. When others around you are not kind, they are afraid. Be kind any way.  Only one person has to be kind for the situation to change.

 6. Understand that any expression that is not loving is a call for healing and help.  Offer only love.

 7. Make the decision to no longer see one’s self as unfairly treated.

 8. Rejoice that we can be hurt by nothing but our thoughts.

 9. Act, don’t react.

 10. Being loving even once a day transforms us and everyone else too.

 11. Seek to understand every situation from the “others’” perspective.

 12. Every experience is an opportunity to embrace a more peaceful path.  Cherish it.

 13. Every learning partner is offering us a lesson we need.  If we “decline it” it will come again. 

 14. The effects of every action are exponential.  Be careful!

 15. We can not change the world but we can change our mind about the world.  

 16. For a more peaceful mind and life, shift one’s perspective as often as necessary.

 17. Troubles are wonderful opportunities to strengthen our ties to God.  Be thankful for them.

 18. Practice feeling and expressing gratitude.

 19. Reaching out takes the focus off of us.  Try it daily.

 20. We are where we need to be.  Always. Pay attention.

 21. When a door closes remember that God is offering a better opportunity.

 22. Make the decision to do no harm.  Ever.

 23. If the thought you are protecting wouldn’t be pleasing to God, think one that would.

 24. Making amends creates peaceful lives and loving relationships.

 25. Forgiveness is the key to peace.

 26. Take no hostages.

 27. God has every answer we need.

 28. Don’t let the mood swings of others determine how you feel.

 29. Powerless is a cherished gift.  Appreciate it.

 30. There are two voices in our minds. One is ALWAYS wrong.

Practicing even one of these principles each day will bring benefit to your life, the life of everyone you encounter, and the rest of the planet too.  I promise.