. . . and it’s not always a pretty picture, is it? \u00a0I have said on many occasions, in many books and at many workshops, that the relationships we have attracted are perfect for the growth we are destined to have in this life. \u00a0Perhaps that seems farfetched to you. \u00a0It did to me when I first heard it, but I decided to believe it for lack of any other reasonable explanation for the myriad relationships I endured in the many avenues of my life. \u00a0I can see now, (hindsight is so revealing) that every single relationship offered me slices of the education I have needed to make me successful in the work I now do. \u00a0What I share with others, on the stage and in books, is based wholly on what I have gleaned from my own experiences within a host of relationships; some very difficult, some joyful to the core.<\/p>\n
A former boss comes to mind when I think about past relationships that educated me in significant ways. \u00a0It’s an understatement to say he was a difficult man. He seemed to take pleasure in humiliating others and I was at the top of his list. \u00a0But for every time he put me down, he also praised me, generally in a back-handed way, but it was offered, nonetheless. \u00a0I grew strong working for him and I came to understand that what others say and do doesn’t have to define me. \u00a0I had been introduced to this idea in 1971 in a book by John Powell: WHY AM I AFRAID TO TELL YOU WHO I AM? \u00a0How it surfaced in that book was in a conversation between Powell and a good friend. \u00a0His friend, journalist Sidney Harris, strolled down a New York city street quite often in the early morning. \u00a0Harris was prone to buying his daily paper from the same vender day after day. \u00a0The vender was always gruff and Harris was always polite and even tipped the nasty fellow on a regular basis. \u00a0Powell was uncontainable. \u00a0“Why do you tip him? \u00a0He is rude.” \u00a0Harris simply stated, “Why should I let him decide what kind of day I’m going to have?”<\/p>\n
Bingo. \u00a0My behavior in my relationship with my boss, with many ex-boyfriends as well as my first husband, my dad, and many good as well as casual friends had all been influenced by my perception <\/strong>of what I thought they were thinking of me. \u00a0I discovered how fearful I was. \u00a0I was a shell for years but can claim, at last, to be a whole person. \u00a0I enjoy having the praises of others. \u00a0For sure. \u00a0But I am not reduced to simply seeking them. \u00a0I am pleased with who I have become. \u00a0I certainly hope your journey has allowed you to come to this same place of self-acceptance too. \u00a0Just remember, where ever you are right now is the perfect place to be for the next stage of your education.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" . . . and it’s not always a pretty picture, is it? \u00a0I have said on many occasions, in many books and at many workshops, that the relationships we have attracted are perfect for the growth we are destined to have in this life. \u00a0Perhaps that seems farfetched to you. \u00a0It did to me when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[179,214,216],"class_list":["post-374","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-circle-of-family-and-friends-you-and-your-personal-community","tag-relationships","tag-we-are-where-we-need-to-be","tag-what-we-see-matches-what-we-think"],"yoast_head":"\n