I have never fallen away from my 12 step meetings. \u00a0In fact, I go to more meetings a week now than I did when I first came into the program. \u00a0Because I attend both AA and Al-Anon, I usually get to five meetings a week. \u00a0Some might think that at 38 years sober, five meetings is overkill. \u00a0On the contrary, I think that the more we get to, the greater will be our joy and peace of mind. \u00a0It’s joy and peace that call to me, every day. \u00a0I know how to find it. \u00a0I know how to help others find it too.<\/p>\n
I am willing to do whatever I need to do to continue growing. \u00a0This included seeing a counselor a few times over the summer. \u00a0I hadn’t sought the help of a counselor for decades. \u00a0In fact, that last time was shortly after coming into AA. \u00a0At that time my struggle was with abandonment issues. \u00a0The counselor nailed it on my very first visit. \u00a0Nearly the first words out of her mouth were, “You were abandoned in the womb.” \u00a0I was stunned. \u00a0It felt right. \u00a0And yet could it be right, I wondered.<\/p>\n
After a very tender discussion with my mom I was comforted to know that she had emotionally abandoned me, not because of ill feelings for me but ill feelings for her own situation. \u00a0That conversation created a bond between us that was to grow over all the remaining years of her life. \u00a0I was so grateful, first for the words of the counselor, then for the honesty and courage of my mother. \u00a0She could have lied but her truth set us both free.<\/p>\n
I have had many opportunities to grow over the years but I have to admit that I have, on occasion, been inclined to resist change. \u00a0I have said, in many places, many times in fact, that we are never faced with a growth “opportunity” unless we are ready for it. \u00a0One presented itself to me and that’s what led to my recent few trips to a counselor. \u00a0Like so many others, I was all about resisting the “potential” change. \u00a0It wasn’t even a change that was a certainty to happen but my wall went up, regardless.<\/p>\n
What it was about isn’t as important as just admitting that I don’t necessarily practice what I preach. \u00a0When I tell others, in books and in workshops, that change is good and part of our NECESSARY JOURNEY, I better believe it too. \u00a0I got a taste of just how hard it is to embrace the idea when I am afraid.<\/p>\n
The good news about this situation is that seeing a counselor affirmed what I knew to be true. \u00a0It also felt good knowing that I wasn’t way off course. \u00a0Being human isn’t a bad thing. \u00a0Being afraid of what might transpire is an ego slip. \u00a0Nothing more. \u00a0And the solution is with God. Wherever I go I am needed. \u00a0Whomever I’m with is part of my particular destiny. \u00a0No change is unplanned for. \u00a0Ever.<\/p>\n
Once again I am able to rest in this truth. \u00a0Knowing all is well.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have never fallen away from my 12 step meetings. \u00a0In fact, I go to more meetings a week now than I did when I first came into the program. \u00a0Because I attend both AA and Al-Anon, I usually get to five meetings a week. \u00a0Some might think that at 38 years sober, five meetings […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[8,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-musings","category-reflections-in-the-mirror-you-and-yourself"],"yoast_head":"\n