My life, by choice, is now more focused on the simple pleasures than was the case while in my fifties and sixties.\u00a0 Perhaps that\u2019s normal maturity.\u00a0 The body gets tired.\u00a0 The mind seeks freedom from worry.\u00a0 And with age, our relationships generally become less intense; if we are lucky, they mellow out.\u00a0 The expenditure of time, to make them more peaceful, has already been spent. \u00a0At 75, I’ve spent a lot of time. \u00a0And it was all worth it.<\/p>\n
My guess is that regardless of age, you share these same thoughts.\u00a0 Or are trying to, at least.\u00a0 But I believe it\u2019s worth our time to ruminate about a few \u00a0gifts. \u00a0I have certainly learned over the years the value of repetition coupled with the practice of specific virtues.<\/p>\n
The gift that comes first to my mind is the gift of prayer.<\/i><\/b>\u00a0 When I was a youngster, my prayers were simple.\u00a0 Now I lay me down to sleep<\/i> . . .\u00a0 was the only one I knew by heart.\u00a0 Not having been raised in a very actively Christian home, praying before meals or at bedtime was not a big deal.\u00a0 Uncle George, when he was in a sober spell, offered up long, rambling prayers before our large family gatherings, but the meal wasn\u2019t held up if he wasn\u2019t to be found.\u00a0 However, prayer has become a mainstay for me.\u00a0 It quiets my mind and heart.\u00a0 I can do it silently, while with others; and I can do it ritualistically before meditation.\u00a0 I don\u2019t pray for things.\u00a0 I used to, of course.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t let Steve dump me, God.\u201d \u201cPlease let me pass this exam.\u201d<\/p>\n
But even when the prayers were childish and pleading, they effectively helped me stop worrying.\u00a0 It reminds me of the proverbial God Box that every person in 12 step recovery is introduced to.\u00a0 The relief I got every time I needed to talk to God about a situation, was palpable.\u00a0 I\u2019d write down my concern, put it carefully in my God Box, and quite miraculously forget it.\u00a0 It worked because I believed it worked.\u00a0 My God Box was always full.\u00a0 The power of prayer can\u2019t be overestimated.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s move on to another gift.<\/i><\/b>\u00a0 The one that comes rushing into my mind next is\u00a0<\/span>the gift of silence.<\/i><\/b>\u00a0 I grew up in a noisy family.\u00a0 My dad was often angry so it wasn\u2019t unusual to hear loud voices and lots of cursing.\u00a0 I dreaded his coming home from work many days.\u00a0 You could tell by the time he got out of the car if supper time was going to be peaceful or loud.\u00a0 It never seemed to be simply fun.<\/span><\/p>\n I, too, became a loud, angry person.\u00a0 I fought him, tried to stand up for my mom and brother, and mostly suffered an upset stomach for my efforts.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t begin to appreciate the power and the effectiveness of silence until I made a commitment to the program of Al-Anon, and even though I have been active in that 12 step program for a long time, mastering the practice of silence relies on daily adherence.<\/p>\n What is it about silence that makes it so valuable? \u00a0I have thought about this long and hard. \u00a0What I have to say isn\u2019t new. \u00a0Choosing to be silent rather than being engaged in a discussion that is headed into a power struggle pays off.\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 I have spent countless hours practicing this, sometimes successfully, some times not so successfully. \u00a0 Choosing to be silent, as long as it\u2019s not a resentful choice, is beneficial, for a number of reasons.<\/p>\n First it\u2019s a great demonstration to others that not every argument has to be joined.\u00a0 It\u2019s also an example of \u201cchoosing peace,\u201d rather than an alternative.\u00a0 I heard a great acronym at an AA meeting a few years ago.\u00a0 It was W.A.I.T.\u00a0 It stands for \u201cwhy am I talking?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m certainly guilty of talking something to death.\u00a0 And I\u2019ve been privy to others who do it too.\u00a0 Opting to be quiet, even once in a while, is freeing.\u00a0 It\u2019s like opening a window and letting the stuffiness out.\u00a0 If it\u2019s not a general practice of yours, consider making it one.\u00a0 Even for a week.\u00a0 It can add unexpected pleasure to your encounters with others.<\/p>\n Ahhh. \u00a0Silence. \u00a0How very sweet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My life, by choice, is now more focused on the simple pleasures than was the case while in my fifties and sixties.\u00a0 Perhaps that\u2019s normal maturity.\u00a0 The body gets tired.\u00a0 The mind seeks freedom from worry.\u00a0 And with age, our relationships generally become less intense; if we are lucky, they mellow out.\u00a0 The expenditure of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-what-i-believe-you-and-your-higher-power"],"yoast_head":"\n