I’d have to say that the first forty years of my life were primarily focused on the actions of those people I walked among. \u00a0And I wasn’t even conscious of it. \u00a0It was simply who I was. \u00a0It was how I had always lived. \u00a0What ever you said defined how I believed too, in that moment. I saw no problem with this. \u00a0Not having “a life of my own” wasn’t of much concern. \u00a0I came to the realization of this in 1971 but seeing “Me” in print on that fateful page in John Powell’s book didn’t turn me around. \u00a0Let me elaborate.<\/p>\n
I was teaching a personal writing class at the University of Minnesota. \u00a0I assigned Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am<\/strong><\/em> as a text. \u00a0I chose it because I liked Powell’s voice in the book. \u00a0He was gentle and very personal. \u00a0He wrote like I wanted my students to write, and he shared a wonderful story that stopped me dead in my tracks. \u00a0He had a great friend who was a journalist in New York and he walked with him many mornings when he, too, was in the city. \u00a0His friend always bought a paper from a particular vender and that same vender was always gruff, rather rude, in fact; but John’s friend was always kind and always tipped the vender any way.<\/p>\n Finally, Powell had to ask why? \u00a0Why was he nice to a man who was always rude to him. \u00a0And his friend said: “Why should I let him decide what kind of day I am going to have?” \u00a0At that moment I realized I had spent my whole life letting others determine how I felt, who I thought I was; what worth I had in that moment, even in that whole day. \u00a0And I never even realized it until that moment when I first read Powell’s words. \u00a0Unfortunately I wasn’t able to change how I responded very quickly. \u00a0But the seed had been planted. \u00a0Once a seed is planted, new growth is guaranteed. \u00a0Eventually.<\/p>\n And it came for me. \u00a0Not very quickly but my awareness of what I was allowing to happen was a first step. \u00a0Now I look back on this and smile. \u00a0Change comes. \u00a0If we nurture it. \u00a0And I wanted to change. \u00a0Al-Anon offered me the tools to see what I was doing and then helped me to utilize those tools to make other choices. \u00a0I have been making other choices ever since. \u00a0The freedom is exhilarating. \u00a0Are you free?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’d have to say that the first forty years of my life were primarily focused on the actions of those people I walked among. \u00a0And I wasn’t even conscious of it. \u00a0It was simply who I was. \u00a0It was how I had always lived. \u00a0What ever you said defined how I believed too, in that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[8,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-musings","category-reflections-in-the-mirror-you-and-yourself"],"yoast_head":"\n