To react or not, that\u2019s the choice when someone is getting under our skin.<\/b><\/p>\n
Angrily or disgustedly reacting rather than making a conscious choice to act when in the company of a person who is either getting under our skin, dismissing us all together, or being rude or mean-spirited is the default position of many. There are myriad ways to act, to respond to any situation, however.\u00a0 My years in Al-Anon have given me a handbook of good choices, in fact.\u00a0 Anger, for instance, is never one of the better ones, even when some one attacks us verbally.\u00a0 If the attack is physical, there is only one sensible response.\u00a0 Get out of the vicinity of the attacker immediately.<\/p>\n
Because our choices make the difference in the kind of day we will have, let\u2019s review what some of the common but unfortunate choices are.\u00a0 To begin with, along with anger being a poor one, so is the silent treatment when it is accompanied by sullenness. Let me be clear, however, there is a difference between silence and the silent treatment.\u00a0 Choosing to say nothing in the face of some one else\u2019s anger or disrespect or behavior that is clearly designed to rile us up is an excellent response. \u00a0It may not be appreciated but that’s not of concern to you. \u00a0You can only be in charge of you. \u00a0No one else. \u00a0This is a lesson I have needed to repeat literally thousands of times. \u00a0And there is no shame in that. \u00a0No shame. \u00a0Every day is a new opportunity to become more of the woman I want to be.<\/p>\n
Leaving the room, walking away from a situation that looks like a set up for a fight is also a good choice.\u00a0 If there is a need to say some thing in that moment, and some times there is, why not let it be, \u201cI\u2019d rather discuss this at a later time.\u201d\u00a0 Or perhaps an even better response is to say, \u201cMy opinion is different from yours but we can agree to disagree.\u201d\u00a0 A gentle response is always an effective one.\u00a0 Another one I have used frequently that comes to mind is: \u201cI know you are perceiving this situation differently than I see it, and that\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
The point is be gentle in your response. \u00a0A soft voice quiets every situation. \u00a0We can have the kind of life we want. \u00a0We simply have to decide what life that will be.<\/p>\n
Are you ready to take your own inventory?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
To react or not, that\u2019s the choice when someone is getting under our skin. Angrily or disgustedly reacting rather than making a conscious choice to act when in the company of a person who is either getting under our skin, dismissing us all together, or being rude or mean-spirited is the default position of many. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[8,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-musings","category-reflections-in-the-mirror-you-and-yourself"],"yoast_head":"\n