{"id":2931,"date":"2013-03-31T17:23:20","date_gmt":"2013-03-31T22:23:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.womens-spirituality.com\/?p=2931"},"modified":"2013-03-17T17:23:55","modified_gmt":"2013-03-17T22:23:55","slug":"before-getting-involved-in-someone-elses-life-we-need-to-ask-ourselves-is-this-my-business","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.womens-spirituality.com\/?p=2931","title":{"rendered":"Before getting involved in someone else&#8217;s life we need to ask ourselves, is this my business?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Detachment is simply watching the events that are unfolding around you, getting involved<strong> <em>only<\/em><\/strong> when your journey is part of the experience. \u00a0Not reacting to the people or the situations that so easily attract our attention is not an easy skill to develop.\u00a0 And skill it is.\u00a0 We must practice driving and chipping and putting a ball to be a good golfer.\u00a0 We have to hit thousands of tennis balls against a backdrop to play tennis competitively.\u00a0 And we have to sit for long, long hours at a keyboard to become proficient at piano.\u00a0 We would not expect to be very good at any one of these activities without practice.\u00a0 Lots of it.<\/p>\n<p>But we seldom grasp, until after many failures, sometimes years of failures, that we have to practice and rehearse, again and again, the \u201cart\u201d of not reacting, of \u201cdetaching,\u201d from the actions of those around us.\u00a0 How often we hear or worse yet, say, \u201c he made me do it!\u201d\u00a0 WRONG.\u00a0 No one can make us do any thing.\u00a0 We have the power to do or not do what ever we do.\u00a0 That\u2019s the good news, in fact.\u00a0 We are in charge of ourselves.\u00a0 No one else. \u00a0And no one else is in charge of us, either. \u00a0The freedom that accompanies that realization will lift our spirits throughout the day.<\/p>\n<p>Sadly, I spent years being focused on the behavior of others. \u00a0I had two things in mind. \u00a0One, I wanted to make sure they were not about to do something that would leave me out and second, I wanted to make sure that what they were planning to do wouldn&#8217;t embarrass me. \u00a0I remember all too well the dozen years of my first marriage. \u00a0I was caught up with his every act to the point that my own life barely got attention. \u00a0It&#8217;s amazing that during that time I did manage to teach school and function almost sanely. \u00a0The inner turmoil was the locus of my pain. \u00a0And it festered 24\/ seven. \u00a0When that relationship ended, I still stayed too focused on others. \u00a0I had many miles to go before I grasped a different way to step through life.<\/p>\n<p>I live differently now. \u00a0I celebrate the journey of others. \u00a0I watch and smile, but don&#8217;t choose &#8220;to coach&#8221; the process. \u00a0The relief is palpable. \u00a0My joy is too. \u00a0And the others on my path seem to appreciate my presence much more. \u00a0Funny how that works.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Detachment is simply watching the events that are unfolding around you, getting involved only when your journey is part of the experience. \u00a0Not reacting to the people or the situations that so easily attract our attention is not an easy skill to develop.\u00a0 And skill it is.\u00a0 We must practice driving and chipping and putting [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2931","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-circle-of-family-and-friends-you-and-your-personal-community"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Before getting involved in someone else&#039;s life we need to ask ourselves, is this my business? | Karen Casey<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.womens-spirituality.com\/?p=2931\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Before getting involved in someone else&#039;s life we need to ask ourselves, is this my business? | Karen Casey\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Detachment is simply watching the events that are unfolding around you, getting involved only when your journey is part of the experience. \u00a0Not reacting to the people or the situations that so easily attract our attention is not an easy skill to develop.\u00a0 And skill it is.\u00a0 We must practice driving and chipping and putting [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.womens-spirituality.com\/?p=2931\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Karen Casey\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-03-31T22:23:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"karencasey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"karencasey\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.womens-spirituality.com\\\/?p=2931#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.womens-spirituality.com\\\/?p=2931\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"karencasey\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.womens-spirituality.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/be42ec49697eba07d84ddf86ace97639\"},\"headline\":\"Before getting involved in someone else&#8217;s life we need to ask ourselves, is this my business?\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-03-31T22:23:20+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.womens-spirituality.com\\\/?p=2931\"},\"wordCount\":429,\"commentCount\":3,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.womens-spirituality.com\\\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.womens-spirituality.com\\\/?p=2931#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.womens-spirituality.com\\\/?p=2931\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.womens-spirituality.com\\\/?p=2931\",\"name\":\"Before getting involved in someone else's life we need to ask ourselves, is this my business? 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