{"id":2920,"date":"2013-03-20T14:34:27","date_gmt":"2013-03-20T19:34:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.womens-spirituality.com\/?p=2920"},"modified":"2013-03-16T14:34:53","modified_gmt":"2013-03-16T19:34:53","slug":"letting-others-be-to-grow-as-they-will-or-not-is-a-true-gift","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.womens-spirituality.com\/?p=2920","title":{"rendered":"Letting others be . . . to grow as they will . . . or not, is a true gift"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Detachment is knowing that happiness is the guaranteed byproduct of how we live our lives, not how others are living theirs<\/strong>. \u00a0It&#8217;s my intention to do a few posts on detachment over the next few weeks. \u00a0I have learned that being being sucked into the struggles of others leaves no time for me to fully experience the day that stands before me.<\/p>\n<p>Allowing others to be glad or sad, successful or unsuccessful, angry or dour, sober or drunk; <strong>and knowing how ever they are need not be central to our journey<\/strong>, is real freedom. \u00a0 But coming to understand how to live &#8220;peacefully detached&#8221; takes time, willingness to believe in this as a possibility, and then perseverance. \u00a0Lots of perseverance. \u00a0Few develop this awareness over night. \u00a0Some never develop it. \u00a0But being able to detach from the lives of others as a path for truly living becomes the first day of real freedom, the kind of freedom we have never known. \u00a0This I can guarantee.<\/p>\n<p>Tying our happiness to any one else no doubt means we also tie our anger or confusion or depression to them too.\u00a0 Sadly, many of us do live this way.\u00a0 Or did.\u00a0 I have to admit this was my path for many years.\u00a0 Whatever any one else said or did, how any one else felt, was what determined my emotions too.\u00a0 It\u2019s a bit embarrassing to say that I lived this way into my late thirties.\u00a0 And if I had not been introduced to a twelve step program, I might still be tying \u201cmy star\u201d to some one else\u2019s dream. \u00a0Or nightmare.\u00a0 My path was not unusual.\u00a0 I know many others who struggled, some still do, with the same issue.\u00a0 Our culture encourages it.\u00a0 But we can live differently.\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 I do now.<\/p>\n<p>But as I have already said, it takes willingness. \u00a0And not just a little willingness. \u00a0Constant is more like it. \u00a0The payoff is remarkable, however. \u00a0Our load is lightened, immediately. \u00a0The sense of freedom we feel is without measure. \u00a0The joy we experience at not dancing around the lives of others is a gift like no other. \u00a0Every day feels a little bit like a longed-for-vacation when we let everyone fly free.<\/p>\n<p>Some will say, &#8220;This sounds great but I need to watch over others. \u00a0They are depending on me.&#8221; On the contrary, others will never find or fulfill their own journey if we make a practice of peeking over their shoulders, or worse, doing for them what they need to do for themselves. \u00a0God is their guiding presence. \u00a0Let Him do His job. \u00a0And then, let&#8217;s do our own.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Detachment is knowing that happiness is the guaranteed byproduct of how we live our lives, not how others are living theirs. \u00a0It&#8217;s my intention to do a few posts on detachment over the next few weeks. \u00a0I have learned that being being sucked into the struggles of others leaves no time for me to fully [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[4,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2920","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-circle-of-family-and-friends-you-and-your-personal-community","category-reflections-in-the-mirror-you-and-yourself"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - 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