{"id":2604,"date":"2012-08-05T12:20:24","date_gmt":"2012-08-05T17:20:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.womens-spirituality.com\/?p=2604"},"modified":"2012-07-25T12:20:45","modified_gmt":"2012-07-25T17:20:45","slug":"detachment-is-a-life-giving-force","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.womens-spirituality.com\/?p=2604","title":{"rendered":"Detachment is a life-giving force. . ."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have been a proponent of the concept of <strong>detachment<\/strong> for many years now. \u00a0I know, from my personal life, the devastation of being overly &#8220;attached&#8221; to people, to their moods, their opinions, their actions. \u00a0I developed this trait as a very young girl and it followed me into my first marriage. I was certain &#8220;you&#8221; were about to reject me so I clung as I tight as I could. \u00a0Fortunately,<strong> and I do mean fortunately<\/strong>, everyone I clung to managed to escape. \u00a0 \u00a0It wasn&#8217;t until years later that I was able to understand what had given rise to my drive to hang on to &#8220;you,&#8221; <em>regardless of who you were<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>A counselor shared with me her opinion. \u00a0She said I had been abandoned in the womb. \u00a0What a shock it was to hear those words initially, but I also knew at a very deep place within that she was right. \u00a0Her assessment was confirmed in a wonderfully, intimate conversation with my mother. \u00a0The real beauty of the conversation was that it developed a bond between us that was never broken. \u00a0On the contrary, it deepened over the remaining years of her life. \u00a0I&#8217;m sure it was because she was able to be freed from a secret she had harbored and felt shame for and I was finally able to understand my need for attachment.<\/p>\n<p>Let me clarify what detachment means to me if it&#8217;s unfamiliar to you. \u00a0It means being able to truly celebrate the freedom of others, without feeling the need to tell them what to do or how to think or act. \u00a0Being able to let others make their own choices frees us of a burden, one we never needed to take on even though we may have done so. \u00a0Being in charge of one&#8217;s self is quite enough.<\/p>\n<p>We eventually appreciate the freedom we gain when we give others their freedom too, even though we may fear what will happen to us initially. \u00a0Will they forget us? \u00a0Will they choose another partner? \u00a0How will our future be harmed? \u00a0All of these questions haunted me in my youth and drove me to cling more tightly. \u00a0But as I said, everyone managed to escape which allowed me to discover the life I was destined to have all along.<\/p>\n<p>Understanding the value of living in &#8220;concert with&#8221; but not &#8220;in charge of &#8220;anyone else changes every experience any one of us can have. \u00a0It&#8217;s freedom. \u00a0It&#8217;s joy. \u00a0It&#8217;s relief. \u00a0And it&#8217;s ours when we let go and let God be in charge of those who are traveling with us.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have been a proponent of the concept of detachment for many years now. \u00a0I know, from my personal life, the devastation of being overly &#8220;attached&#8221; to people, to their moods, their opinions, their actions. \u00a0I developed this trait as a very young girl and it followed me into my first marriage. I was certain [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[8,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2604","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-musings","category-reflections-in-the-mirror-you-and-yourself"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Detachment is a life-giving force. . . | Karen Casey<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.womens-spirituality.com\/?p=2604\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Detachment is a life-giving force. . . | Karen Casey\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have been a proponent of the concept of detachment for many years now. \u00a0I know, from my personal life, the devastation of being overly &#8220;attached&#8221; to people, to their moods, their opinions, their actions. \u00a0I developed this trait as a very young girl and it followed me into my first marriage. 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