Welcoming the new year means saying good-by to 2011. \u00a0That inspires me to pause and consider some of the experiences of this past year that stand out in my mind. \u00a0Are there some I’d love to repeat? \u00a0Were there times I didn’t live up to my “better self?” Did I make commitments to finish certain projects but didn’t follow through? \u00a0Did I develop some new ideas that were tucked away for a later date? \u00a0Did I show up in a loving way with friends and family? \u00a0Did I reach out to new faces and comfort old ones too? \u00a0Did I let others down at any time?<\/p>\n
Let me break these recollections down a bit: When it comes to “work completed,” I would give myself a pretty high score for the year, 2011. \u00a0I finished two books and brainstormed about some topics for upcoming books to write. \u00a0I have been blessed with the quality of perseverance and that has allowed me to stay easily and quietly focused on projects through their completion. That’s my strong suit, in fact. \u00a0It has freed me from the kind of angst that so many colleagues who do the kind of work I do suffer from. \u00a0I consider it God’s grace. \u00a0Completely.<\/p>\n
When it comes to being present when a friend needs me, I have tried to be the person I want others to be if I need them. \u00a0Again, I would give myself pretty fair marks. \u00a0I lovingly and very willingly sat with one of my best friends as she lay dying and I showed up for another one as often as possible throughout her chemo. And I spent long hours in conversation with sponsees when the need was there. \u00a0In each case I simply followed my heart and God did the rest. \u00a0That’s one of the truisms of my journey, in fact. \u00a0An open heart coupled with willingness allows God to get involved.<\/p>\n
My interactions with family over this past year were extremely fulfilling. \u00a0I mentioned in an earlier blog about a visit to Phoenix this fall with my sisters to visit our younger brother and what a joy that was. \u00a0To share 5 days with siblings and never experience a cross word or a minute’s tension is evidence of the miracle of my recovery, as \u00a0far as I am concerned. \u00a0For certain I am not the woman I used to be in the presence of my family. \u00a0Perhaps they have changed as well. \u00a0For sure I have.<\/p>\n
It’s most likely that I failed to live up to “my better self” with my husband, oftener than with any one else. \u00a0That’s probably normal, though not really excusable, since he is “my primary teacher” and we live in one \u00a0another’s sacred circle for many hours every day. \u00a0Is it the ego that pushes me to react, to say those words I am sorry for? \u00a0I’d say yes. \u00a0I have learned, and I am forced to keep learning, that the ego speaks first, loudest and is always wrong. \u00a0Why do I \u00a0listen to it? \u00a0Indeed, why. And of course it’s because sometimes I can’t stand to just “step aside.” \u00a0I must “be right.” \u00a0I don’t take every opportunity to choose peace that presents itself. \u00a0But I do choose it more often than in past years. \u00a0That’s the good news.<\/p>\n
It’s progress. \u00a0Not perfection. \u00a0I am a work in progress. \u00a02011 was a pretty good year on all counts. \u00a0Can I make 2012 even better? \u00a0That’s the question. \u00a0 I think yes. \u00a0How about you?<\/p>\n
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Welcoming the new year means saying good-by to 2011. \u00a0That inspires me to pause and consider some of the experiences of this past year that stand out in my mind. \u00a0Are there some I’d love to repeat? \u00a0Were there times I didn’t live up to my “better self?” Did I make commitments to finish certain […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-musings"],"yoast_head":"\n