I can still recall, as though it were yesterday, complaining bitterly to my early sponsor that nothing seemed to be changing in my life. \u00a0I was still filled with anxiety. \u00a0I was still obsessed with what others might be thinking of me. \u00a0I was still doubting that I’d ever feel like so many of my new companions seemed to feel. Getting up every morning felt like a chore. \u00a0I was just plain scared. \u00a0I didn’t want to drink but I didn’t know how to live in my skin. \u00a0And she had the gall to say, “When did you last write a gratitude list?”<\/p>\n
To be honest, I wasn’t sure how to begin one. \u00a0I was a slow learner, a very slow learner. \u00a0My slowness was partly due to not wanting others to know that I didn’t get “the finer points” of the program, thus asking questions was a no-no. \u00a0So many had gone to treatment and they all seemed to have an inside track on how this “new life” was done. \u00a0I got sober on meetings. \u00a0Not treatment. \u00a0And I often felt in the dark.<\/p>\n
Gratitude was a word that seldom crossed my lips. \u00a0I heard others talk about their lists at meetings. \u00a0Many claimed to have a running list that they added to every night. \u00a0Many even reread the list every morning to set their mind for the day.<\/strong> Fortunately, at one of the meetings, we went around the room and mentioned things we were grateful for. \u00a0I got a glimmering then of what I had been missing.<\/p>\n There were many experiences that were gifts that had nearly gone unnoticed by me. \u00a0Many “near-misses” had been occurring all my life. \u00a0I just hadn’t seen those <\/em>saves<\/strong><\/em> as representative of the hand of my Higher Power. \u00a0Indeed, I did have a lot to be grateful for. \u00a0Always had had. \u00a0I just hadn’t known how to read the signs.<\/p>\n I began my own daily list from then on. \u00a0I still take note of the things I have to be grateful for all these many years later. \u00a0I don’t always write them down but I do think about them and treasure them and every recollection gives me a deep sign of relief. \u00a0God is always working on my behalf. \u00a0God was always there and will remain so. \u00a0And peace is the by-product.\u00a0\u00a0I am comforted by that belief. Aren’t you?<\/p>\n When was the last time you made a gratitude list? \u00a0Would today be a good day to start a fresh one? \u00a0And what you learn from this experience you might pass on to others. \u00a0Peace is in short supply these days.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I can still recall, as though it were yesterday, complaining bitterly to my early sponsor that nothing seemed to be changing in my life. \u00a0I was still filled with anxiety. \u00a0I was still obsessed with what others might be thinking of me. \u00a0I was still doubting that I’d ever feel like so many of my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reflections-in-the-mirror-you-and-yourself"],"yoast_head":"\n