I don’t know about you but I never let anyone know who I really was for the first 35 years of my life. \u00a0I did my darndest to control whatever interpretation you could possibly have of me. \u00a0I did this by trying to blend in with your opinions. Or remaining quiet if I had no idea what you were talking about. \u00a0For sure, keeping a low profile in most public settings if there was a chance I’d be singled out for an “educated” viewpoint was a fall-back position. \u00a0The insanity was that I both wanted the attention of others and yet was deathly afraid that if they “looked too close,” they’d see what an empty shell I was.<\/p>\n
Even going to graduate school didn’t boost my self-esteem very much. Alcohol fueled my courage on many occasions. \u00a0In fact, without it I might not have even attempted graduate school. \u00a0But the hole inside wasn’t filled by any thing; not alcohol or drugs or men or straight A’s. \u00a0The miracle is that some thing as simple as a gathering of men and women who suffered like me, fellow travelers who were lost in the maelstrom of addiction, could show me how they were “filling their holes.” \u00a0I began to see that I could follow suit.<\/p>\n
That first meeting didn’t change my level of fear about letting others see the “real me.” \u00a0Nor did the second or probably the 100th, but I knew that these travelers had discovered a path that made room for all of us and there was no time line as far as self-disclosure was concerned. \u00a0I had all the time I needed. Little by little I let others in. \u00a0I let them see my fears. \u00a0Eventually I began experiencing their unconditional acceptance.<\/p>\n
That’s what fellow travelers do for one another. \u00a0We love as we want to be loved. We listen as we want to be heard. \u00a0And we witness one another’s journey as closely and as lovingly as we want our own journey witnessed. \u00a0We get comfortable with the knowledge that as one falters, many falter. \u00a0But as one succeeds, many succeed. \u00a0We are like a chain letter. \u00a0We go from one to another holding out hope and love and suggestions that have strengthened our own journey, knowing that’s the very path that will keep it strong.<\/p>\n
If every one of us reading this passed on a “nugget” that we learned along the way with just one other person before this day ended, and asked the person we shared it with to do likewise, the universal spiritual shift we all deserve would begin to happen. \u00a0Are you interested in playing a part in this? \u00a0I hope so.<\/p>\n
Praise be to God.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don’t know about you but I never let anyone know who I really was for the first 35 years of my life. \u00a0I did my darndest to control whatever interpretation you could possibly have of me. \u00a0I did this by trying to blend in with your opinions. Or remaining quiet if I had no […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-karens-musings"],"yoast_head":"\n