For decades I danced around the lives of others, generally as a way of seeking attention and approval. \u00a0When others failed to acknowledge me or if they criticized me, I was devastated, certain that I was soon to be rejected. \u00a0What a sorry mess my life was for more than three decades. \u00a0Alcohol relieved the angst up to a point but not forever. \u00a0Thank goodness. \u00a0As I have said in other blogs, revealing so much about myself may seem foolish to some who are reading this but I believe that sharing our vulnerabilities is what helps every one of us heal.<\/p>\n
My introduction to the concept of detachment happened in an Al-Anon meeting in Minneapolis in 1974. \u00a0I’m not certain they even used that word but they did talk about not letting what others do affect you. \u00a0And even though I had come across this idea in a book in 1971, I thought the idea was a bit ludicrous and unachievable. \u00a0I simply could not and would not ignore all those people who were driving me crazy or causing me to doubt myself. \u00a0I was sure they needed my suggestions regarding every aspect of their lives. \u00a0Of course my suggestions had never done any thing but escalate the tension that existed nearly every where I was, but try I must. \u00a0Or so I felt.<\/p>\n
How glad I have been for the last 35 years that I never quit seeking the guidance and the solace found in the rooms of Al-Anon. \u00a0I’m convinced that most of us attend our first meeting in a state of insanity. \u00a0After all, it is insane, some say, to keep doing the same thing again and again, expecting a different outcome. And that’s what we did in the case of family members we hoped to change, or bosses, or friends. \u00a0Even strangers.<\/p>\n
Practicing detachment fairly successfully, as I have done for the last twenty years, has done more to change my level of contentment than any other tool I have learned to apply since coming into the recovery rooms, with the exception of admitting my alcoholism and stopping drinking in 1976. Detachment allows any one who relies on it as a practice to live a life peacefully unencumbered by the ups and downs of others. \u00a0Their behavior becomes their business. \u00a0Their treatment of us or others is recognized as a sign of how they feel about themselves, not us.<\/p>\n
We can learn to recognize them as great learning opportunities for us to become accomplished at a practice that can and does change every encounter we have with any one throughout the day. \u00a0Isn’t it amazing how those very situations we thought we’d never be able to handle become the very blessings that in due time make our lives peaceful and so worth embracing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
For decades I danced around the lives of others, generally as a way of seeking attention and approval. \u00a0When others failed to acknowledge me or if they criticized me, I was devastated, certain that I was soon to be rejected. \u00a0What a sorry mess my life was for more than three decades. \u00a0Alcohol relieved the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-circle-of-family-and-friends-you-and-your-personal-community"],"yoast_head":"\n