We are constantly fighting - It must be love?
My significant other and I are in a constant battle over who is right. It doesn’t seem to matter what the discussion is about, movies, politics, whose turn it is to tidy up the house; neither one of us wants to give in.
I am pretty certain he loves me and I absolutely love him. However, the pain I so often feel in my heart and stomach make me afraid that I can’t stay in this relationship. My head pounds. I can’t sIeep after we have been fighting. I need some guidance soon.
I am hopeful that others reading this will have had similar experiences but with successful outcomes. Help, please.
Barbara D.
5 Comments | March 27, 2004
Comments
On June 5, 2004, sondra said:
my husband who is not in recovery..was addicted to being right...even if it didn't make sense... I went to Al-Non -- "How important is it?" ..Would I rather be right or happy (i say this out loud...and then let it go.... at first husband was upset with this...) hummmmm right or happy..what a choice..heee...
On June 30, 2005, Lance said:
Hey Sondra,
I am sorry to hear about your struggle, but may I suggest a wonderful book, "getting the Love You want" by Harville Hendricks. It is a fabulous book into relationships. He is cutting edge, not the same old worn out info from marraige counselors. I hope the both of you can read it together, it will change your life. It explains how relationships help us reveal more of ourselves, our partners bring it out, and why we are drawn or repelled to the types of people we fall for...or run from. In short it is great, good luck!
Take heart, all men are not bad or powerhungry, I bet your partner's need to be right is based soley in fear, as he is still trying to prove, through his relationship with you, that he is good enough and has what it takes, to love you fully...
On July 31, 2005, Alida said:
No relationship in the world gets by scott-free without some conflict. Respectful conflict rules!
On July 31, 2005, Alida said:
I would agree with Lance on both the book he has recommended and the idea that conflict of any kind is rooted in fear.
On August 2, 2005, Karen Casey said:
Life is too short and already far too complicated, in my view, to make issues where none have to be. I don't think it means we are being walked on if we choose to walk away from a conflict, at least some of the time. It simply means we are choosing a different approach.
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