I can well remember that when I was a young girl, I wanted to blame others for how I was behaving. ”He made me do it,” was my common refrain. Pointing fingers at others is far easier than looking at ourselves and we aren’t alone in opting for this excuse for our unseemly actions, even though the wise among us don’t buy it. Some of us aren’t very eager to consider that there might be another way to interact, to interpret the experiences we are having. It wasn’t until I had been in recovery for a couple of years that I seriously tackled taking responsibility for all that I had ever done or was doing at the present time. And there’s still an occasional experience where I am slow to accept my part of the breakdown in communication. We aren’t going to change completely overnight. In fact, we will never be perfect and celebrating that fact right now frees us to continue growing at whatever our pace is.
Reading a key passage in one of John Powell’s books in 1971 is where I first got the notion that the behavior of others didn’t have to control me. I could use it as an excuse, and had done so for years, but I was a willing hostage to every one else’s demeanor as long as I didn’t decide for myself who I wanted to be, how I wanted to think, and then behave. My own choice to live and see differently didn’t change right away. In fact, it took a few years but the seed had been planted. Today it’s a joy and extremely empowering to greet the day how I choose to greet it. Those around me may be angry or sad, and I can certainly express concern, but their drama is not mine to join.
Have you avoided joining some one else’s drama today? Thank goodness the day is not over.
Filed Under: Karen's Musings